


The Rory List

by Anna (Anna_64386925)



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Post-Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2018-10-01 06:53:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 21,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10183346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_64386925/pseuds/Anna
Summary: Paris meets Jess for coffee.





	1. Chapter 1

"She's never really had to look after herself before. Sure, she worked in high school and in college and she paid her own bills and saved her money and rented an apartment in Brooklyn for a decade and the world thinks she's an adult now. She bought her own health insurance and car insurance and learned to take her mother's Jeep for its six month service back when she was fourteen because Lorelai would never remember herself.

But she's never made the choice between 'mine' and 'ours'.  She's never been there when her daughter's burning up with a fever and her sons screaming bloody murder and Doyle's in California  _yet again_ and the Nanny's useless...

I'm just...  I'm a little worried that she's not up to the job."

Jess tapped a finger against his ceramic mug and gave Paris another exasperated, blank look.  "Paris.  Why the hell are you telling me this?"

"Because it was supposed to be you!" Paris slammed her hands on the table so hard the formica shook and the little styrofoam cup in front of her jumped and flipped over.  "Don't you get it?  You were ALWAYS supposed to be in this with her!  I can't believe you're shirking your responsibilities like this!"

"What the fuck?!?" Jess jumped up before her coffee could hit him and started pulling the bottom off a napkin dispenser.  

"In case you missed the memo," Jess said with fake sarcasm Paris recognized from her own days as an abandoned child, "I did not get Rory pregnant.  That baby inside her -" Jess points a finger out the window - "belongs to your precious Huntzberger.  The Yale graduate with the newspaper empire who's richer than God.  So go give him this speech and leave me the hell alone."

"I know it's Huntzberger's baby," Paris huffs.  "I'm not a moron.  She's had the hots for him since W.'s first term."

"So why the hell are you talking to me?" Jess spits through clenched teeth as the coffee soaks another wad of napkins.

"Because you're hers!  And she's yours!  God, are you blind _and_ deaf on top of being uncoordinated?"

"She is not mine.  She has  _never_ been mine."

"Oh really?  And who's been feeding her pickle addiction?"

Jess kept his attention on the now beige-tinted formica.  "She's family."

"And you're such a big family man now, Kerouac?" Paris snips.  "Try it on someone who didn't loose high school valedictorian because they spent senior year distracted by your constant eye fucking. The poor-little-emo-me attitude stopped being cute after your facial hair grew in."

"Damn it, Paris, what do you want from me?" Jess stood up and pulled his coat off the chair.  "She's not my girlfriend or my baby mama or my lover or any other  _mine_ that you've dreamed up in your Xanax-fueled fantasy.  She's my ex-girlfriend, and my cousin by marriage, and that is the extent of our relationship.  Nothing else."

"She's family," Paris pointed out.  "You just said that."

"And she's extended family," Jess admitted.  "The kind of family you see once a year for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and then you're done.  They're out of your life.  And then she goes back to fucking Huntzberger and eating pickles and raising little Lorelai the Third or whatever and I go back to Philly.  The end."

"She needs you," Paris said calmly.  "You're her Luke."

Jess froze for a second and then went back to buttoning his coat.

"You know you are, Jess," Paris went on. "It was always supposed to be you."

Jess didn't look back as the door slammed behind him.  Paris picked up her phone and went through her tasklist.

 

~~_Fire Claire_ ~~

_Prenup - Doyle_

_Fix Rory:_

_1. ~~Jess~~_

_2\. Trustfund Baby_

_3\. Adolf and Eva Huntzberger_

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

"What the hell, Paris?"

Paris jumped up out of her chair and leaned forward to examine the document Rory was pushing under her nose.

"Sued! You went and told him, and now he's SUING me!" Rory's eyes got wider and her nostrils flared as her pitch went up with every word. "How could you Paris? I thought you were my friend!"

"That bastard's suing you?" Paris narrowed her eyes and grabbed the summons from Rory's hand. "Jesus Christ. I never thought he'd have the nerve."

"PARIS! How could you tell him?!?!? After I specifically told you that I didn't want his money, that I didn't want him or his family involved?!?"

"I didn't think he'd actually do anything besides cough up a trust fund for Trorelai."

"Stop calling her that!" Rory snatched the papers back and clutched them to her chest. "How could you do this to me?!?  I don't have time to get SUED right now, I have a book and a baby on the way - I just bought a breast pump!  I don't even know how to use it yet!"

"Breast pumps are overrated.  You work from home, just keep the baby around your belly like a papoose swing.  Free choice milk."

"Eww.  That's disgusting, I'm not a cow."

"Not now you're not.  Three months in and you'll begin to feel like the prize heifer at a dairy."

"Stop talking now!"

"I'm just saying, you think they're big now, but wait until you can't walk through a door sideways-"

"PARIS!"

Paris sat back down and poured Rory a glass of water.  "Drink.  Your body just doubled its blood volume and your heart's working twice as hard.  The least you can do is keep hydrated."

Rory took the glass and sipped slowly.  She sank down into Paris' guest chair on the other side of the desk.

"I didn't tell Huntzberger," Paris said after a couple of beats.  She picked up her coffee mug and took a deep whiff of the aroma.

"Really?" Rory raised an eyebrow.

"I did suggest that he might want to provide you with something now that you're not working and you're writing your book.  And I may have implied that it might be worth his money to keep his new wife from finding out about certain...infidelities."

"...And of course, he went digging and found out." Rory sighed.  "Paris.  That was so invasive on so many levels."

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you," Paris got defensive.  "You're not working, and my goddaughter deserves the best even if her father is a total jackass."

"Paris," Rory sighed again.  She picked up the pen on the edge of Paris' desk and began doodling on the blotter.

"Thanks," Rory said, looking up at Paris after a minute.  "For caring.  Your goddaughter's lucky to have you watching out for her."

"What are you going to do?" Paris asked her.

"I'll figure it out.  Maybe he'll trade visiting rights for edits to the book or something."

"I never thought I'd see the day when Rory Gilmore would compromise her journalistic principles." Paris said dryly.

"Motherhood changes us all." Rory smiled sadly at Paris and put on her sunglasses.  "Sorry I yelled at you."

"Sorry I outed you to your baby daddy."

"You're forgiven." Rory put on her big straw hat and leaned over the desk to kiss Paris' cheek.  "See you tonight?"

"Nanny's taking the kids to Moana, but Doyle should be home."

"Like old times."  Rory turned and softly closed Paris' office door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's a boy."

Rory stared.  "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"You're having a baby boy."  A young woman with blue scrubs and an ultrasound technician ID badge around her neck looked up from her monitor and smiled at Rory.  "Congratulations!"

Rory felt her head start swimming.  She tried to blink and felt her eyes roll back of their own accord.

 

"Miss Gilmore?  Miss Gilmore?"  A woman with spiraling carrot-colored hair and a stethoscope around her neck was waving a penlight into Rory's eyes.  "Miss Gilmore, can you hear me?"

"Wuh...." Rory garbled.  

"Miss Gilmore!  Can you hear me?"

"Wha..What happened?" Rory slurred.  

"You fainted." The doctor put her stethoscope into her ears and listened to Rory's chest.  "Good. Your breathing seems to be evening out."

Rory blinked dazedly.

"Find a room for her," The doctor told someone over her shoulder.  Rory felt someone's hands lifting her shoulders off the floor and then gently helping her into a wheelchair.

"I'm okay," Rory managed.  "I don't need a room."

"I'd feel better if you let us check you out," the redhead said with a kind look on her face.  "Fainting is not uncommon among new mothers, but I'd still like to watch you and make sure your blood pressure isn't spiking."

Rory tried to protest, but her tongue felt thick and heavy in her mouth and before she knew it, her chair was pulling up to a small, windowless room.

 "Someone will be by in a moment," the nurse murmured as she helped Rory onto the narrow bed.  Rory flinched as she saw the stack of paper gowns and bedding on the table next to her.

The nurse left and shut the door quietly behind her.  Rory felt her eyes begin to tear.

"Mom?" Rory sobbed into her phone.

"Rory!  What's wrong?  Are you crying?"

"I'm having a boy, Mom."

_Gasp_

"No!  A boy?  Really?"

"A baby boy." 

"Wow." Lorelai clicked her tongue.  "Well, that'll be an adventure."

Rory gave a little half sob, half laugh.

"Listen are you okay in Hartford by yourself?  Want Luke and me to come back early?"

"No, don't be silly.  Take your honeymoon; it's the last vacation you'll get before they finish the Annex."

"Okay.  If you're sure.  Promise me that you'll call if anything feels off at all."

"I will.  I promise."  There's a pause as Rory works out what to say.

"Mom?"

"What, Sweets?"

"I don't know anything about boys."

"Well, you must know a  _little_ , hon, or that red dress wouldn't have been your lucky outfit."

"What am I going to do?" Rory said desperately.  "I had it all planned, Mom.  She was supposed to be a girl and I was going to name her Lorelai Emilia and I already had a nickname picked out, Laila, so the Lorelai connection's there but it also sounds a little like Lane and it has the the double consonants sandwiching a vowel like Rory and -"

"Breathe, Sweets."

"What am I going to do?" Rory sobbed, her pitch going higher and higher on each word.

"Well, first off, you're going to sit tight and take a deep breathe."

Rory breathed in.

"Good girl.  In and out, sweetheart."

After a couple of minutes, Rory was able to take a few shaky breaths on her own.

"Good.  Now, you're going to calm down, and remember that you can do this.  You have had a great single-mom example your whole life.  You have friends and family who love you and support you and will love and support your baby.  You can make sure he always remembers that he was almost named after his great-grandmother, thus ensuring he is always thankful for that male privilege he's getting born into.  And you will remember that you are Rory Gilmore, Yale graduate, catch-up extraordinaire, soon to be New York Times bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize winner and you are the best thing this kid ever going to get."

Rory gave a shaky laugh.  "Is that the pep talk you gave yourself when you were pregnant with me?"

"I spent a lot of time trying to decide between Hermann and Melville for a boy."

"Wow, do I feel lucky."

"You have a lot to be thankful for, Babe.  And a lot of people are thankful for you."

"Thanks Mom."

"Don't forget that I'm here for you Sweets.  And Luke.  We'll be in Hartford by midnight."

Rory slumped in gratitude.  "Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime."

 


	4. Chapter 4

"Logan." Mitchum Huntzberger walked into Logan's study with an irrevocable air of impatience and distaste.  Five years of Ivy League education, a newspaper empire, and this was the best his son could give him?

"Mitchum," Logan replied, nursing his scotch and not bothering to lift his head from the table or hide his red eyes.

"Logan." Mitchum pushed the scotch glass away from his son's nose.  "What's going on?  Odette says you haven't left this office in a week.  Judging by the smell, she's right."

Logan contemplated lying or prevaricating, but then he shrugged.  Rory wasn't going to let him see his kid, why bother lying?  "Rory's pregnant."

"Rory Gilmore?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's very nice for her Logan, but what does it have to do with this meltdown?  Please tell me this isn't your eighth quarter life crisis, the the previous seven have been bad enough.

Logan licked his lips.  "It's mine."

Mitchum froze.  "Excuse me?"

"The kid.  It's mine."

Mitchum squared his shoulders and that simple gesture combined with his rage to make him appear six feet taller.  "Logan Huntzberger, do you mean to tell me that you got your ex-girlfriend pregnant right before your wedding?"

"At the bachelor party, actually," Logan answered, immune to his father's rage.  "We went on a little Life-and-Death-Brigade-Finale and it all sort of...snowballed."

Mitchum crossed his arms across his chest and tapped his foot.  "How much?"

"Excuse me?"

"How much does she want?  A yearly income? A staff position at Condé Nast?  An apartment?"

Logan stared up at his father.  It was amazing how, even after thirty-five years of knowing the man, he could still be shocked by the level of ruthlessness his father operated under.

"Logan, don't play games with me.  Just tell me how much she wants to get rid of it."

Logan's eyes narrowed and he rose to his feet, clenching his fists on the desk.  "Get out."

"This is no time for melodrama.  We have a situation here, and we're going to fix it."

"That situation is my child!  You know, I knew you didn't give a damn about me, but I thought you'd at least think twice before you considered murdering an innocent baby--"

"You know what, I've had enough.  I've accepted the fact that you're a goddamn screwup, and that you don't care about this company, this family, or even your own wife.  But I have a reputation to protect, and unfortunately that involves cleaning up your messes.  Now give me.  The goddamn.  Number."

"Nothing.  She doesn't want anything."

"They always want something."

"Well, she doesn't, in fact, I wouldn't even have known about the kid if I hadn't set a PI on her.  She doesn't want me contacting her, I'm not sure if she's ever planning to tell me I have a child."

"Well." Mitchum looked at his son.  "She won't get rid of it?"

"I strongly suspect not."

"Then we'll sue her." Mitchum said, standing up and turning to leave.  "If this kid is coming into the world a Huntzberger, then he's not being raised by a washed up journalist and her whore of a mother."

Mitchum opened the door of Logan's office and looked back at his son.  "Tell Odette tonight." 

Logan buried his head in his hands as the door slammed shut behind his father.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey there, Chief Executive Editor."

Jess looked up from his laptop.  

"Hey there, stranger!  What brings you to Philly?"  He got up from behind his desk and wrapped his arms around Rory.  

"Ouch," he said when he felt a thud against her stomach.  "He's got quite a wallop."

"Yeah," Rory smiled wanly.  "He's a fighter."

"So what brings you to these parts?" Jess asked, offering Rory a chair.  "Not that I'm not thrilled to see little Lucas Jr."

"I haven't decided on names yet," Rory blushed.  

"Keeping up appearances.  I understand." Jess winked at her.

"So, I actually came to ask you for a favor," Rory said abruptly.

"Of course, what can I do for my favorite step-cousin?" Jess asked.

"I like how you qualified it with step-cousin."

"Can't have April getting jealous."

Jess studied Rory with a would-be casual eye.  Her stomach was predictably huge, of course, but underneath the pregnancy rosiness Rory looked drawn and tired.  Her eyes were too big, too shadowed; and her pale lips practically had 'Bambi voice' written on them.

"I need to borrow your lawyer."

"My lawyer?" Jess raised an eyebrow.  "Any chance of getting some context there, Daisy?"

"Any chance I'd get that lawyer without it?" Rory bit her lip and smiled nervously.

"Not much.  I have to run all this by Chris and Matthew, and they tend to be slightly more practical than I am about using company resources."

"I see." Rory looked down at her stomach, her hands unconsciously holding her child.  "Logan's suing me."

"What?" Jess's eyebrow went even higher.  "Why?"

"Well, Mitchum Huntzberger and the Huntzberger estate are suing me," Rory corrected, "For full custody of the as-yet-unnamed Baby Gilmore-Huntzberger."

"I'm just quoting the legal documents here," Rory said when Jess' eyebrows didn't relax.

"Why is he suing you?" Jess asked.

"For full custody, like I said."

"No, I mean, why is he  _suing_ you?  Did you deny him custody rights or something?  I thought your mom said you weren't even going to tell him about the baby."

"I'm not.  I mean, I wasn't.  Paris tried to blackmail him into an annual income for me and he got suspicious."

"Got to love Paris," Jess said, shaking his head.

"She meant well.  She means well.  She's already got a legal team and a PI on Logan, actually, but I have a feeling yours might be more...discrete."

Jess gave Rory another long look.

"I'll talk to Chris and Matt.  We should be able to swing it."

"Thank you so much, Jess," Rory said, grabbing his hands on the desk and squeezing them.  "I owe you.  Please tell him to send the bill to Stars Hollow."

"Don't worry about it.  He owes me a favor," Jess said, getting up to give Rory a hug.

Rory hugged him back tightly.  Jess swallowed as he felt her baby kick again.

"Rory?" Jess called impulsively once she had reached the door.

"Yeah?" Rory turned back to look at him.  Jess paused.

"Promise me you won't name him Rand."

Rory smiled a little.  "I promise."

"And Rory?"

"Jess?"

"If you..." Jess swallowed.  "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Rory smiled, a real, full smile this time.  "Thanks Dodger."

"Anytime."


	6. Chapter 6

"Logan."

Logan looked up from his desk.  "Ace.  What are you doing here?"

Rory slapped a sheaf of papers onto his desk.  "You won't return my calls or emails.  You've stopped Honor, Colin and Finn talking to me, and - oh yeah - there's that tiny little fact that you're SUING me for custody of my kid!"

"YOUR kid?  What about the fact that he's MY kid too, or did Paul randomly show up sometime during that life and death brigade and sneak in a quickie with you between Beatles songs?  Or was it some Stars Hollow stud, like that farm boy who abandoned you at your grandparents, or the Jack Kerouac wannabee?"

"Oh shut up.  Who I sleep with, and who I have children with is absolutely NONE of your business!" 

"You're damn right it's my business, that's my kid!  I deserve to be part of his life Rory, and you know that!"

"Of course I know that!  You don't think I thought long and hard about this before I decided not to tell you?"

"Then you admit it!  That baby is mine!"

"Of course it's yours, Logan, I'm not a slut!"

"Your words, not mine, Ace."

"Oh screw you!"  Rory tried to throw one of the paper stacks at Logan and only succeeded in knocking over a paperweight.  

"Why did you sue me?"

Logan slumped back down to the desk and put his head in his hands.  "Why weren't you going to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you.  I just needed to figure some things out first."

"Don't give me that Ace.  Why didn't you tell me first?  I deserved to know."

"Because...because you have a life, Logan.  You're newly married and I know you want kids, but you should have them on your own terms.  This baby wasn't planned.  And I didn't...I didn't want to derail your plans."

"Bullshit."

"It's true!"

"I know you better than that, Ace."

There were a few beats of silence as Rory tried to get a handle on her thoughts.

"Logan..."

Logan looked up.

"Can we talk about this off the record?"

"There's no record here, Ace."

"No, I mean...can we agree that whatever we say for the rest of this time is just between us, and not worry about it getting dragged up in court later?"

"I make no promises--Ace." Logan's face softened.  "Don't cry, I could never stand it when you cried."

"It's just - " Rory composed herself and wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand.  "Nevermind.  Sorry I came here.  I'll go now."

"No, Rory, wait-" Logan called after her.  

Rory shut the door behind her.

"Rory!  Ro-ry!!" Logan called.  He caught up to her before she reached the elevator.

"You were never very fast to begin with," he teased when she looked up at him.  

"Shut up," Rory mumbled between sobs.  

"Ace." Logan put his arm around Rory's shoulders and gently walked her into the elevator.

"Let's go to the Ivy.  I promise I won't say anything about court cases or records, and you can tell me whatever you want, no holds barred, no lawyers involved."

Rory bit her lip.

"Oh come on, Ace, don't start blubbering on me now."

Rory swallowed, and wiped away the last of her tears.  "Lead the way, Huntzberger."

"That's my girl."

\--

"It's just...when I was growing up," Rory began, not looking at Logan, "My Mom and Christopher were always..."

"Ace," Logan said gently, putting his hand on her arm.

"It's just, you've always been my what-if.  I used to reflex call you, for god's sake!  And watching my Mom and Christopher go through that..."

Rory finally looked at Logan and took a bite of her salad.  "I just didn't want my child to watch me pine over his father."

"Pine?" Logan looked inappropriately gleeful.  "You pined over me?"

"Shut up," Rory said half-heartedly.  "You know I love you."

"And I love you, Ace."  Logan picked up his wine glass.

"But..." Rory said tentatively, unconsciously tearing up a bread roll.  "But you're married."

"I am married," Logan said more seriously, leaning his elbows on the table.  "And I've told Odette about this.  And nothing is going to stop me from taking care of you and my kid."

"But," Rory bit her lip.  "I don't see how, unless you're just offering us money."

"Money's definitely on the table.  And I want a chance to be involved, to see my child regularly as he's growing up.  Odette and I talked about it, and she's fine with me going back and forth for the first few years, until the kid's old enough to come to London."

Rory's eyes were on her plate again.  "So...this is about the baby."

"It was always about the baby, Ace.  I don't want to derail your life.  I just want to be involved with my kid."

"Okay," Rory looked up, eyes bright.  "Okay.  So you don't want full custody."

"That was a scare tactic of my father's."

"I'm okay with you visiting your child.  How often, do you think?"

"Hang on," Logan said quickly.  "We can't just decide this now, there's a bunch of stuff to discuss."

"Like what?"

"Names, timing, an annual income - and don't think I'm going to budge on that, Ace," Logan warned.  "This is my kid, and I'm going to make sure he and his mother are taken care of financially."

"I don't need your money."

"But you'll have it, and you can set it on fire if you want to, I'm not going to tell you how to manage your life - but you will not get out of taking money for my child."

"Okay."

"And," Logan made eye contact with Rory.  "I want to be there when he's born."

"Like in the room?" Rory was incredulous.

"No, not in the room if you'd prefer, but at the hospital.  Where's your obstetrician?"

"Hartford.  John Skinner Memorial."

"Then I will be in Hartford next month.  I'll fly in around July 4th and stay until the baby's about a month old."

Rory stared at Logan.  "Logan.  You're going to take 6 weeks off of work, away from your new wife, in the middle of the summer?!?"

"My kid comes first, Rory."

Rory looked at Logan.

"I mean it, Ace.  Whatever this baby needs, I'm there.  You can push me away all you want, but this is happening."

Rory nodded and took a sip of her soda.  "Okay."

"I'll have the lawyers send you a revised custody arrangement."

"Sounds good."

"And Rory?"

Rory looked up.

"You're going to be an amazing mother.  And this kid is going to have the best life we can possibly give him."

Rory smiled.  "He's one lucky baby."

"Yes, he is." Logan leaned over the table and kissed Rory's cheek.  "Can I give you a ride somewhere?"

"No, I think I'll just walk.  I'm staying with Paris; she's thinking of opening up a British branch of Dynasty Makers around the corner from here."

Logan chuckled.  "Only Paris.  Okay, well, I'll be in touch.  You know how to reach me?"

"By heart."

Logan kissed the top of Rory's head.  "See you soon, Ace."


	7. Chapter 7

"Red hots, Oreos, Mallomars, Thin Mints, Icebreakers, chocolate chips, Gummi bears, M&Ms."

"Plain, peanut, almond, crispy, peanut butter?" Rory read off her list.

"Check."

"Candybars?"

"Butterfingers, Nutter Butters, Butter Nougat, Chocolate covered nougat, Milky Way, Snickers, 1000 Grand, Take 5, Heath-"

"Check."

"But I've got four more kinds!"

"Be we only needed 8!"

"Well, I bought 13, isn't that the luckiest number?"

"No, 7 is the luckiest number, 13 is the unluckiest."

"Says who?"

"Every horror movie ever written," Rory scolded.  "Friday the 13th.  Nightmare on Elm Street - that was at number 13!  13 Days from Hell.  Friday the 13th II."

"Shouldn't they have called that one Friday the 14th?"

"Friday the 14th sounds stupid."

"Oh!" Lorelai gasped.  "You take that back right now, Missy!"

"Well it does!  What, did you expect them to call Rocky II, 'Rockier'?"

"Oceans 11!  Oceans 12!  Hell, Oceans 14!"

"Actually that last one was called Oceans 7."

"What?"  Lorelai picked up a 1000 Grand Bar and started eating it.

"Hey!"

"Well, you said you only wanted eight different kinds."

"But you can't start eating my stash, I need those for tonight!"

"Oh, fine." Lorelai reached for the Oreos.

"Hey!"

"But I'm hungry!"

"There are more oreos in the kitchen!"

"Well great, then replace the ones I'm eating with the ones from the kitchen."

"No, I need an unopened pack!"

"What, you forgot how to use a stapler?"

"Mom!"

Lorelai leaned over the coffee table and kissed her daughter's head.  "So nice to have you home, hun."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Now, you know that I am  _all_ for inducing labor with a sugar coma, but are you sure this is the best idea?"

"It's not to induce labor, it's for Jess' opening display."

"Jess, huh?"

"Yeah, I told him I'd help.  He's been so nice to me recently, helping me find things for the baby and letting me vent.  I mean, everyone's been really nice to me lately."  Rory looked down at her stomach.  "I so can't wait for this to be out of here, though.  I haven't seen my feet in three months."

Lorelai smiled a little ruefully at her daughter.  "Yeah, wait until little Desi pops out, though, and then you'll wish you were still pregnant and had nothing to do but lie on a couch all day while your admirers fed you bonbons."

"I am NOT naming my child after Desi Arnaz!"

"But how will he perfect his Luuu-cy call without inspiration from his namesake?"

"He'll just have to watch Ball comedy sketches like everyone else."  Rory paused.  "Did you say bonbons?"

"Ice cream or truffle?" Lorelai asked, getting up from the couch.

"Ice cream, please!"

"Your wish is my command, Khaleesi."

"Thank you." Rory propped her feet up on the coffee table and looked at the wealth of candy fanned around her.  "It's good to be queen."

"I heard that!"

"Fetch my bonbons, slave!"

"Eurgh," Rory said as a particularly hard kick pounded against her stomach.  "Easy there, baby, don't want to start the demolition process quite yet."

"Is he kicking?" Lorelai asked, coming back into the room and handing Rory her bonbons.

"You want to see?"

"You mean feel?"

"No, see -" Rory lifted up her shirt.  "Say something."

"Hi Desi," Lorelai cooed.  "You really like the name Desiderio, don't you?"

Rory flinched as the imprint of a tiny foot was pressed against her stomach.  

"Oh my gosh," Lorelai gushed.  "He totally loves the name."

"No he doesn't," Rory grumbled.  "He's kicking in protest."

"That's so incredibly cool, Rory," Lorelai said, placing her hand gently over the spot where the baby's foot had been.  "How long as he been doing that?"

"A few weeks." Rory looked at her mother.  "Didn't I do that?"

"No, you were a very gentle baby.  Tiny little flutters, mostly, except when my mother force fed me offal."

"Eww," Rory made a face.  "Even baby me had better taste than that."

"You refined your palate at an early age," Lorelai agreed.

"Rory?" The door opened and Lorelai and Rory turned towards Luke's voice.

"In here!" Lorelai called helpfully.

"Lorelai, what are you doing here?" Luke asked, wiping his face.  He saw the stash of candy on the coffee table and groaned.

"Uh, I live here," Lorelai replied.  

"Please don't tell me you ate any of this, Rory," Luke moaned.

"No, but the day's young," Rory said cheekily.

"Yeah, but at least think of the baby, even if it is too late for you," Luke pleaded.  "I mean you don't want him getting addicted to sugar in the womb!"

"Might be too late for that, chief," Lorelai said as Rory devoured her fourth ice cream bonbon.

Luke sighed and picked up his dufflebag from the living room floor.  "Okay, well, I'm going to get to Jess', help him start setting up for tonight."

"Ooh, take the candy tower with you!" Rory pointed at the precarious pile on the coffee table.  "tell him I'll be over tonight to help set it up."

"With pleasure." Luke swept the pile of candy into his duffle and kissed Lorelai before heading out the door.  "See you tonight!"

"Bye Luke!" Lorelai and Rory chorused.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hi I'm looking for my daughter, Rory Gilmore, she should have arrived just a few minutes ago-"

"Take a seat, I'll be with you in a moment."

"No, see, she's having a baby, and I really need to be in there with her, so if you could just tell me where she is - her name is Lorelai, "L" "O" "R"-"

"I thought you said it was Rory."

"That's just what we call her, I'm not sure what name she's under-"

"Take a seat, ma'am, someone will be with you shortly."

"Hey!" Lorelai braced her hands and leaned over the welcome desk.  "Listen lady, my daughter is scared and in pain and she's giving birth to my grandson, so if you think I'm just going to stand here and wait until someone comes out-"

"Lorelai!"

Lorelai looked up.  "Jess, thank god.  Where is she?"

"They just took her back, she's okay.  Her water broke, but they said the contractions were pretty far apart, so they want her to wait before she gets an epi."

"Oh, okay," Lorelai put her hand over her heart.  "God, I thought I was too late."

"It's okay.  She's asking for you, can you come see her?"

"Yes," Lorelai said, completely ignoring the disapproval of the nurse behind the welcome desk.  "I'm coming right now."

"Ma'am," the nurse began. 

"I'm coming now," Lorelai repeated, following Jess through the double doors at the end of the room and completely ignoring the nurse calling after her.

"Where is she?"

"Room 220b."

Lorelai smiled.  "That's fun."

"She got a kick out of it."

"So what happened?" Lorelai asked Jess after a beat of silence.

"We were building a candy Southampton Windmill, and suddenly," Jess mimed water gushing, "all over.  Luckily I don't think anyone was actually planning on eating the candy mill."

Lorelai wrinkled her nose.  "And she was okay?"

"I got her in the car and drove over here pretty fast.  It's just around the corner, the ambulance seemed pointless."

"No, that's -  Thanks." Lorelai looked up at Jess.  "For being with her.  I'm so thankful she wasn't alone for that."

"She's pretty strong, I think she would've managed okay." Jess smiled at Lorelai.  "She's been cursing out that kid, though, and saying something about following the Bangles on tour.  I figured it'd mean something to you."

Lorelai laughed.  "Yeah, it was my postnatal plan for awhile until the Demoral kicked in."

"She remembered."

"She's good like that."

"Here we are," Jess said, stopping at room 220b.  

Lorelai smiled at Jess gratefully and ducked into the room.

"Mom?" Rory sobbed and reached out to her mother.  "I'm scared, Mom."

"I know Sweetie, but you're being so brave." Lorelai grabbed her daughter's hand and bent to kiss her forehead.  "This is the worst part, but it'll be better soon, okay?" She smoothed back Rory's hair.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore?" A nurse walked into the room holding a clipboard.

"Yes?" Rory said, looking up.

"Dr. Ryland's on his way.  I just need to check to see how far along you are," the nurse said kindly.

"I'll step out for a sec," Lorelai said.

"Hurry back," Rory implored, clinging to her mother's hand.

"You're strong, Sweets.  You can do this."

Lorelai ducked out into the hall.

"How's she doing?" Jess asked, looking up from his pacing.

"She's fine," Lorelai smiled at Jess.  "They're checking dilation now, trying to figure out if she's ready for the epi."

"Thank god," Jess wiped his brow.  "Hearing her scream before was just-"

"I know," Lorelai smiled tightly.  "It's the worst sound in the world."

"I would have given anything to make it stop." Jess leaned his head back against the wall.  "Is it weird if I stay?"

"No, not weird at all," Lorelai said, smiling kindly at him.  "You might want to hang out in the lobby though, so the nurses don't keep giving you the hairy eyeball."

"Yeah," Jess said.  He hesitated.  "Should someone call Logan?"

"I'll check with Rory," Lorelai said.

"Hey Rory," Lorelai called softly when she returned to the room.

"Mmm?" Rory asked sleepily.  Her epidural had been administered a few minutes early.

"Should someone call Logan?  Where is he?"

Rory opened her eyes slowly.  "Logan?  He's...I think he's....somewhere.  Hartford.  He flew in yesterday."

"Okay.  You want me to give him a call?"

"Mmmm." Rory's eyes fluttered shut.  

"Rory?"

"Let her rest," the doctor who entered the room said, carrying a chart.  "I'm Dr. Ryland, I'll be delivering the baby."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Ryland.  I'm Lorelai Gilmore."

"Lorelai Gilmore?" Ryland looked at the chart and raised an eyebrow.

"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore, Rory's mother.  I'm going to be here for the birth."

"Ah, I see.  Well, Rory's on some pretty strong painkillers, so she should sleep for an hour or two.  That'll give us time to wait for her cervix to fully dilate.  Then when she's ready, we'll wake her up for the birth."

"Okay."

"I'd really advise letting your daughter sleep through this part," Dr. Ryland emphasized.  "The success of the birth will depend on her energy when it comes time."

"Okay," Lorelai sighed defeatedly.  The doctor left.  

Lorelai walked over to Rory's bag and tried to figure out which phone was the 'personal' one.

"Hey," Luke peered around the door.  "How's our girl?"

"Resting.  The doctor said not to disturb her."

"I saw Jess in the lobby.  He said you were trying to reach Logan?"

"Yeah, but I don't know which of these phones will have his number, or how to get through Rory's security codes."

"Maybe Yale will have his number?  Or your mother?"

"My mother," Lorelai paused.  

"It might be a good idea," Luke said gently when he noticed Lorelai hesitating.

"Yeah, I guess," Lorelai grumbled.  "Let's go outside so we don't bother Rory."

Lorelai and Luke stepped out of the room and gently propped the door open a crack so they could hear Rory's heart monitor beeping softly.  Lorelai pulled out her cell phone.

"Mom?  Hi."  Lorelai paused.

"No, Rory's great, actually..." Lorelai paused.  "We're actually at the hospital.  Rory's water broke and she's in labor."

"Mom, no, it's okay," Lorelai looked helplessly at Luke.  "My mother wants to drive down here," she whispered.

Luke closed his eyes.

"Really, Mom, I think it would be better - No, of course I'm not trying to keep you from your great grandson - Mom, I'm not going to tell Rory to name him Richard, that's her decision - No.  No, she's sleeping right now.  Yes, I'm sure.  Yes, I'm sure.  Okay, I'll wait to hear from you soon.  Listen Mom-"

Lorelai paused.

"Mom, look, can you give me Shira Huntzberger's number?  Rory's resting and I need to call- wait you do?  Oh, awesome, could you-  Thanks, Mom.  Okay bye."

Lorelai looked up at Luke.  "Mom has Logan's number.  Thank god, I so did not want to deal with Shira today."

"She's not that-" Luke folded his arms.  "Yeah, actually can't blame you on that one."

"Mom said she would call Logan.  And she's driving down, but the chances of her making it before midnight are pretty slim.  Hopefully Rory's delivered by then, for all our sakes."

Luke put an arm around Lorelai.  "Why don't we wait in the lobby for Logan?"

"But I can't-" Lorelai looked back over her shoulder at Rory's room.  "What if she wakes up and needs me?"

"She'll be fine.  We'll go, get a cup of coffee, something ridiculously sugary, and then you can come back and sit with Rory." Luke rubbed Lorelai's shoulders.  "Come on.  You need as much energy as you can get if you're going to deal with Logan and your mother in a few hours."

"Yeah, you're right," Lorelai's shoulders slumped.  "God, I can't wait for this to be over."

"And then you get to be a grandmother," Luke whispered.

"Yeah, but I'm going to be a cool grandma.  Like, super cool."

"Mmhmm.  Is there such a thing as a cool grandma?"

"You're going to be the old, ancient grandpa," Lorelai poked Luke in the chest.

"Hey, I'm down with the kids," Luke said with a mock-swagger.

"Don't ever do that again."

 

\-----------

 

"It's a boy!" Lorelai skipped into the lobby and smiled at everyone.

"Well, we knew that, Einstein," Jess rolled his eyes.  "How's Rory?  And the baby?  Everything okay?"

"They're both just fine," Lorelai gushed.  "You can go see the baby now, Logan," she added.  Logan smiled and slipped through the doors behind her.

"Rory's okay?" Luke asked softly, pulling Lorelai into his arms and pulling off her surgical cap.  

"She's just great.  She was amazing, Luke."

Jess smiled at the happy couple and crossed his arms.

"Well, I guess I should get out of here," he said after a pause.

"Oh, don't you want to see the baby?" Lorelai asked.  "Rory wants to thank you, she says you were incredible in getting her to the hospital."

Jess gave Lorelai a half smile and nodded.  "Sure, if Rory and Logan don't mind."

"What's the baby's name?" Emily asked, speaking up for the first time.

Lorelai took a deep breathe.  "Richard Lucas Huntzberger Gilmore."

"Lucas?" Luke looked up suddenly.

"Rory thought it would be nice to name him after his grandfathers."

Luke's eyes watered, and he blinked quickly.

"Aw, Grandpa Luke!" Jess teased, punching Luke lightly on the arm.  "How sweet!  We need to get you a mug.  Or maybe some footy pajamas from the L.L. Bean catalog?  I hear you can have them monogrammed now!"

"Shut up," Luke mumbled, pulling Lorelai close to him.  Lorelai put her arm around Luke and smiled.

"Richard is a fine name," Emily said stoically.  "I'm glad she took my advice and decided to honor her grandfather's memory."

"Rory's going to call him Ricky."

"Oh, no," Emily said unhappily.  "Not like the awful Don Juan character from that ridiculous Lucille Ball show."

"Mom, I Love Lucy is a classic."

"It's a comedy show!"

"It's beloved by millions of Americans across three generations!"

"And, he can always decide what he'd like to be known as when he's older," Luke pointed out helpfully.

"Yes, that's true," Emily reflected after a moment.  "I suppose it would be painful, calling him Richard."

"And Ricky's such a cute name for a baby," Lorelai added.

"Hmm.  Well, when I can I see my great-grandchild?"

"Right now.  Come on guys," Lorelai held out her arms to Jess and Emily.  "Let's go see the newest Gilmore!"


	9. Chapter 9

"He's absolutely perfect," Logan breathed, fingering one of Ricky's little hands.

"Yeah, he is," Rory agreed.  "You did good, kid," she mock-saluted Logan.

" _You_ did good, Ace," Logan teased.  "Look at that hair!  And he's got the Gilmore eyes."

"You know, when we were at Yale," Rory smiled, "I once caught Grandma and Grandpa talking about our future kids."

"Oh yeah?"

"Grandma was so excited about, 'a little baby with my blue eyes and your blond hair'," Rory quoted.

"Well, your grandmother's always been a woman of vision."

"Except I think she was picturing a slightly different version of the Huntzberger hair."

"Hey, give the kid time.  He's barely an hour old, and it takes at least two to get my hair into this perfect just-rolled-out-of-bed look."

Rory laughed and looked from the baby in her arms to Logan.  "You're happy with the name?"

"Richard Lucas Huntzberger Gilmore the Third has a fine ring to it."

"Seriously?  The Third?" 

"Well, there's Richard Gilmore, and Dickie Huntzberger was my great-grandfather."

"The Third?"

"We'll put it on the certificate, he can drop it later if he wants to."

"Fine."

Rory turned shining eyes back to her baby.  "I just can't believe he's here."

"He's even more beautiful than I imagined," Logan agreed.

"Oh!" Rory startled as Ricky nudged his face against her breast.  "I think he's hungry."

"Are you okay with me being here, Ace?" Logan asked, his eyes never leaving Ricky.

"Huh?  Oh," Rory blushed.  "Of course, you've seen everything.  And you'll probably see this a lot in the next month."

"I'm thinking of staying longer, actually," Logan paused as he watched Rory lift Ricky up and gently position him.  "You're an amazing mom, Ace."

"Oh, believe me, I've been studying," Rory laughed.  "This feels incredibly strange, you would not believe it."

"He's so strong," Logan said, watching Ricky's little fist open and close.  "And so big."

"He is."  Rory gently leaned back against her pillows, bringing Ricky with her so he could keep eating.

"So where are you staying?" Rory asked Logan when she and Ricky were comfortable.

"My Mom's in town, so she opened the house," Logan said.  "But if it's not convenient I can find a hotel closer to you."

"I just want to bring Ricky home," Rory said.  "My Mom's fine with us staying at the house, and it's not like Ricky and I need a lot of space."

"I wish you would let me buy you a house, Ace."

"It's too soon.  I don't even know where I want to live yet, and Mom's offered to help with Ricky for the first few months."

"Let me stay with you," Logan pleaded.

"You'd drive each other crazy."

"But I can't leave him, Rory."

Rory looked up at Logan.

"Give us some time," Rory suggested.  "A couple of weeks.  You can stay at the Dragonfly, Mom will work it out for you."

Logan sighed.  "Fine, but we're revisiting this discussion later."

"Okay." Rory lifted Ricky to her shoulder and gently rubbed his back.

"You're a natural," Logan said, watching mother and son.

"So are you," Rory said as she carefully reached out to hand Logan his son.

"Hey, little guy," Logan brought Ricky's head up to his face and breathed in his newborn scent.  "I love you."

 

Jess hesitated in the doorway.  "Rory?" He asked softly.

Rory looked up.  "Jess!" Rory smiled.  "Come in.  Do you remember Logan?"

"Yeah, hey," Jess greeted with an upraised hand.  "I'm Jess."

"I remember," Logan said thoughtfully, still holding Ricky.  "Hey, thanks for getting Rory to the hospital.  She said you were a real hero."

"Just doing what anyone would have done," Jess shrugged.  "How are you feeling, Rory?"

"Amazing," Rory sighed.  "I'm pretty sure it's like 99% endorphins that will wear off soon, but for now I'm enjoying the high.  Come meet Ricky!"

Jess stepped over to where Logan was holding a sleepy Ricky.

"Hey buddy," Jess said, gently running his thumb over Ricky's little hand.  "Oh," Jess let out a low laugh as Ricky grabbed his thumb.  "That's a strong grip there, son.  Your Grandpa Luke will approve."

"Where is Grandpa Luke?" Rory asked before Logan could say anything.

"He and your Mom are trying to talk Emily down.  Apparently she caught someone about to bring you non-hypoallergenic pillows and almost gave the poor guy a stroke."

"That sounds like Grandma," Rory chuckled.

"Luke was pretty choked up about his namesake," Jess continued, watching Ricky with complete absorption.  

"Well, I wanted to honor the two men who raised me," Rory said.

Jess gave Rory a crooked smile.  "May I?" he asked Logan, holding out his arms for Ricky.

Logan glanced questioningly at Rory.

"Jess has four brothers and sisters, all under the age of 10," Rory said, nodding her head slightly.  "He's the one who taught me how to hold a baby a few years ago."

"She's a natural," Jess disagreed.  "You didn't need anyone to teach you."

"Well, you made me confident that I wouldn't drop or badly injure any of them." Rory smiled.

Ricky began to cry, and Jess started rocking and shushing him.  "There you go," Jess said softly, as Ricky quieted down.  "That's it."

Logan reached for Ricky and Jess handed him back.

"I should go look for Lorelai and Luke," Jess said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Okay," Rory said.  "Thanks again, Jess, I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Yes, thank you, Jess," Logan agreed, still gently rocking Ricky.

Jess smiled and nodded as he stepped out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

"Ricky, please," Rory begged, pressing her baby's face into her shoulder and trying in vain to shush him.  "Shush, it's okay, everything's okay, Mommy's here..."

Ricky's wails only got louder.

"Please, Ricky," Rory lifted Ricky away from her shoulder and tried to look her son in the eye.  "Ricky.  Five minutes.  That's all Mommy's asking for, five minutes."

Ricky just wailed louder.  Rory could see actual tears running down his scrunched up red face.

"Great," she half-sighed, half-sobbed.  "Now we're both crying."

Rory shifted Ricky to one hip and reached for her phone, then hesitated.  Her mom and Luke were in Cape Cod.  Logan had just returned to London, and Lane was on tour with Zach, Mrs. Kim, and the boys.  Sookie had taken Jackson and her children to Blue Hill Farm for the holiday season.

Rory felt tears building behind her temples and she tried to take a deep breath.  Loosing it wasn't going to help anyone.

"Logan?" Rory sniffled.

"Rory?" a sweet, feminine voice sounded on the other end of the line.

"Odette, is Logan there?" Rory sobbed.

"He's sleeping, he just got in an hour ago.  What's wrong?  Is Ricky okay?"

"I think so, it's just - " Rory bit her tongue.  Somehow talking to Odette always made her feel stupid and ordinary.

"What is it?" that sweet, lilting French accent asked anxiously.

"I can't get him to stop crying," Rory wailed.  "He won't sleep or eat, my boobs are killing me, he keeps trying to roll off the bed so I'm afraid to put him down in case he breaks his neck, and my Mom's not here, and-"

"Rory.  Deep breaths," Odette said calmly.

Rory choked back a sob and tried to take a deep breath.

"Now Rory.  I love you, you know I do.  But it sounds like you're exhausted, and Logan's exhausted, and it doesn't sound like there's much he could do for you right now."

Rory felt her mouth drop open in shock at this blatant affront.

"Instead, I'm going to find a nanny who can come sit with Ricky for a few hours so you can get some sleep," Odette continued calmly.  "Shira's got a list, and Honor says they're very reliable.  You need to sleep, love, and to eat something, and relax without worrying about Ricky for a few hours.  You won't be any good to him unless you rest."

Rory let out an exasperated sigh.  "Odette.  Thank you, but I'm fine."

"No you're not," Odette said gently.  "You sound exhausted. And I don't blame you.  Dealing with a five month old baby by yourself?  It's enough to do anyone in."

"Ricky is my son, and I'm not entrusting him to some nanny I've never met before," Rory said through gritted teeth.

"I promise I'll ask for the one with the highest qualifications," Odette assured.

"No.  Thank you for the help, but I'm fine." Rory hung up before she could say anything she would regret.  

Ricky's wails grew even louder at the sound of the phone slamming down onto its cradle.

"I'm sorry, buddy," Rory said, slumping to the floor and pressing her forehead against her son's.  "I'm trying, I really am."

 

"Rory?" The glass on Rory's window opened partway, and Jess' head and shoulders appeared through the gap.

"Jess!" Rory cried.  "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"I heard screaming," Jess said as he eyed Ricky.  "What's the matter with Bud?"

"Ricky's fine, he's just exhausted," Rory sighed, cuddling her baby close to her again.  "I can't get him to sleep or eat and he keeps rolling out of the bed."

"What happened to his crib?"

"It broke last week and I haven't gotten around to buying another one yet."

Jess leaned back and closed the window and a moment later Rory heard a key rattling the doorknob.  Jess came in, smiled at Rory and reached for Ricky, who went to into his Uncle's arms without a fuss.

"Hey, there, Ricky," Jess cooed, bouncing the baby slightly.  "Why you being so mean to your mom, hmm?"

Ricky hiccuped and his sobs turned to sniffles.

"Great!" Rory threw her hands up.  "Awesome.  I've been trying for two days, and you show up, and just-" Rory cut off abruptly as Ricky's face scrunched up like he was getting ready to wail again.

"You're exhausted," Jess said gently, rubbing a hand across Ricky's back.  "Go take a shower.  Eat something.  I'll hang out with Ricky until you're done."

Rory blinked rapidly but a tear still slipped down her cheek.  Jess wiped it away with his thumb.  "Go shower.  Change." Jess said firmly as Rory pressed the pads of her fingers against her eyes.  "I'm right here.  Nothing's going to happen to your kid."

Rory bit her lip, grabbed a pair of pajamas and some underwear from a chair in the corner and headed up the stairs.

 

Rory emerged a quarter of an hour later looking freshly showered, relaxed, and at least ten years younger.  Jess had Ricky strapped into a highchair and was feeding him from an orange jar of baby food Rory remembered buying from Doose's a few weeks ago.

"Hey, handsome," Rory said, bending to kiss her son's hair.  "Sweet potatoes are yummy, aren't they?"

Ricky burbled nonsensically at her and waved his arms.

"Uncle Jess is taking good care of you, huh?  Isn't he the best Uncle in the whole world?" Rory asked in baby talk, still ostensibly talking to Ricky.

Jess blushed a little and Rory smirked.  

"Thank you so much, Jess," Rory said seriously as she watched Jess make another spoonful of baby food fly through the air and into Ricky's mouth.  "I can't tell you how much I needed you today."

"It's no big deal."

"It's a very big deal.  Really, I can't thank you enough." Rory put her hand on Jess' arm and squeezed gently.  "You're a lifesaver."

Jess gave her a half-smile.  "I was just passing by.  I'm thinking of buying Babette a new lawn gnome this year for Christmas, but I wanted to make sure she had everything at Doose's first before I tried the garden center in Hartford."

"Are you going to name him Pierepont?" Rory giggled.

"There's been talk of a customized name plate," Jess agreed mock-seriously.

"Well, I owe you a huge favor," Rory said, kissing Jess on the cheek.  "I don't know what I would have done without you."

"So you thought anymore about Peach Street?" Jess asked abruptly.

"Oh," Rory frowned.  "I like it, it's just- big.  And expensive."

"Get a roommate," Jess said casually.

"Who'd want me for a roommate?" Rory rolled her eyes.  "Hey roomie, we're out of milk, and oh, by the way - sorry about my screaming baby keeping you up half the night, that's just what five month olds do?"

"Get a roommate who isn't a jackass," Jess supplied.

"It'd have to be someone I know, or someone who has kids too, and there just aren't that many people in town who fit those requirements and are looking for a house share."

"I'd be interested," Jess said casually, shrugging.

"Really?" Rory's eyes widened.  "But what about Hartford?"

"Hartford's not too far.  Besides, Liz and TJ seem to need more help with the triplets now that they're growing up."

"Ah, yes.  The terrible threes.  Times three."

"Plus I kind of like it here," Jess said casually.

Rory blinked.  "I cannot believe what I'm hearing."

"What?" Jess asked a little defensively.

"Ladies and Gentleman, the one and only Jess Mariano admitting to harboring an affection for the town he fled not once - not twice- but three times in a three year period.  Take a picture folks, it won't last long."

"Shut up," Jess said half heartedly.  "It's changed since then."

"The town hasn't changed, my friend, you have," Rory teased.

"Anyway, think about," Jess said, feeding Ricky another spoon of food.  "It's a great space, and I promise to stay out of your way."

"You were never in my way," Rory said softly.

The doorbell rang suddenly, and Rory looked around, confused.

"Hello?" she called, opening the door a little.

"Hello!" An altogether too-chipper young woman with bright blond hair waved excitedly from the other side of the door.  "I'm your super nanny!  Here to save the day where other nannies dare not stray!"

"Goodbye," Rory said, shutting the door quickly and turning around.

"Monday?" she asked Jess.

"Monday," Jess agreed, smirking.  "I think your super nanny is still out there," Jess said, nodding towards the back door where the woman was waving excitedly at Rory and Ricky.

"Argh," Rory groaned and went to put on boots and grab Luke's mittens before heading out into the cold after the super nanny.


	11. Chapter 11

"You're moving in with Jess?" Logan asked in disbelief.

"I'm not moving in with Jess, we're just roommates.  Like Paris and Doyle in college," Rory explained, waving Ricky's arms at her computer screen.  "Say 'hi' to Daddy, Ricky," Rory said as her baby opened and closed his chubby fists in the direction of the screen.

"Hi baby," Logan cooed.  "How's my big man?  You being good for your mom?"

"He's an angel as always," Rory laughed, burying her nose in his hair.  "God, how is it that babies always smell so good?" she asked rhetorically.

"You doing okay, Ace?" Logan asked as Ricky kept gurgling on Rory's lap.  "Odette said you called last week, that you were pretty freaked out."

"Oh, just overwhelmed," Rory brushed it off.  "It's fine, I'd just gotten used to having help."

"Is that why you're moving in with Jess?" Logan asked seriously.  "Rory, if you want help, I'd be willing to hire-"

"No." Rory said firmly.

"Look, I know it's not ideal, but there are resources out there-"

"No."

"If it's family you want, I know you're not a big fan of my mother, but-"

"Absolutely not, Logan."

"She means well, Ace."

"She called Ricky illegitimate."

"She didn't mean it like that."

"No."

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  "And you won't move to London?"

"Logan, how would it be any better?" Rory asked.  "You live with Odette, you're married to her and you need to have your own life with her.  In London we'd see you more often, sure, but I'd still be alone with Ricky most of the time.  The only difference is that I wouldn't have the support network I have here.  Plus you travel all the time."

"I could cut back," Logan said seriously.  "If you needed me, I would make it happen."

"I know, but we're okay." Rory kissed the top of Ricky's head.

"So why are you moving in with Jess?"

"I'm not moving in with Jess, I just found a house and I need a roommate and Jess happened to be looking for a place."

"Was this your idea or his?"

"Why does it matter?"

"So it was his idea."

Logan leaned into his fist and looked away for a second.  "I don't like it, Ace."

"Jess loves Ricky, Logan."

"I know!  I know," Logan ran a hand through his hair.  "It's hard to think of your ex-boyfriend spending more time with our child than I do, Ace."

"That's not his fault, Logan," Rory said softly, gently rubbing Ricky's back.

"I know!  It's just-" Logan scrubbed his hands through his hair.  "I don't like the guy."

"You'll never like any guy I have history with," Rory half-teased.

"Especially not him."  Logan paused for a moment.  "Rory, you know the guy's still in love with you, right?"

Rory looked down at Ricky and gently pulled his thumb out of his mouth.

"Logan, Jess and I lost whatever chance we had a long time ago," Rory said softly, finally looking back at her screen.  "I moved on.  I met you, and we fell in love, and now we have the sweetest baby boy on the planet."

"And Jess?" Logan pushed.

"Jess knows that I love him, that I appreciate his time and his help with Ricky.  He's been a lifesaver, Logan."

"But he knows there's nothing there for him?" Logan pressed harder.

"I - I -" Rory paused.  "I have to go."

"Rory -"

"I'll call you again in a few days."

Logan sighed and gave Rory an exasperated look.  "Fine.  Goodbye, baby," Logan blew Ricky a kiss through the screen.

As always, Rory pretended to catch the kiss and blew a wet raspberry into Ricky's stomach.  "Say goodbye to Daddy, Ricky."

Ricky laughed and flung his arms out towards the screen and his mother.

Logan smiled sadly as he watched Ricky and Rory playing together.  "Bye, Ace."


	12. Chapter 12

_One year earlier..._

> "Logan?" Odette called as she heard the door slam.  "Logan, is that you?"
> 
> "Hey," Logan said tiredly as he stepped into the foyer.  
> 
> "Logan, where have you been?" Odette asked, coming across the kitchen to put her arms around her husband.  "Your father called, he said he'd been trying to reach you -"
> 
> "I was at the office."
> 
> "You haven't been home in days."
> 
> "I had a lot to think about."
> 
> Odette brushed Logan's hair back from his forehead and tried not to feel hurt when he didn't respond.  "What's going on?"
> 
> Logan screwed his eyes shut and Odette dropped her hands.
> 
> "Logan?" she asked cautiously, watching his eyes water with mounting trepidation.
> 
> "I screwed up," Logan said softly.
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "I screwed up," Logan said a little more loudly.  "I'm so sorry, Odette."
> 
> He was looking at her now, but Odette didn't find anything reassuring in his red eyes or despondent expression.  "What happened?  Is it the company?"
> 
> Logan dropped his briefcase in the hall and went to sit on the couch.  Odette sat down next to him, one arm automatically wrapping around his waist.
> 
> "Tell me what is the matter," Odette insisted.
> 
> Logan took a deep breath.  "Do you remember Rory Gilmore?"
> 
> "Rory - Rory Gilmore, your ex-girlfriend?  The one Finn likes?"
> 
> "One and the same." Logan took a deep breathe.  "I slept with her."
> 
> Odette froze for a moment.  "I'm sorry?"
> 
> "I slept with Rory."
> 
> "When?" Odette asked, trying to regain control of her emotions.
> 
> "At the bachelor party Colin, Finn, and Robert threw me.  I am so, so sorry, Odette." Logan turned and grabbed Odette's hands.  "It was a stupid mistake, and I am so sorry."
> 
> Odette swallowed.  "We agreed to commit to each other, Logan.  When we decided to move in together, we talked about it.  I left Patrek for you, and you were supposed to stop seeing other women."
> 
> "I know.  I know we talked about it."
> 
> "I am committed to this marriage, Logan.  I know it's not what we thought it would be, but I'm committed to making this work, and I thought you were too."
> 
> "I am!  I was, and I am, Odette." Logan looked at her imploringly.  "It was all a mistake."
> 
> "So why are you telling me now?" Odette asked, closing her eyes.  
> 
> "Rory's pregnant." Odette stifled a gasp.  Then she turned on Logan.
> 
> "Do you mean to tell me," Odette asked mercilessly, "that not only did you sleep with your ex-girlfriend, but you neglected to use any sort of birth control?!?   _Merde_ , Logan, we've had sex since then!  You promised me that you were being safe!"
> 
> "I am!  I was!  I mean I did!  I don't know how this happened, Odette, it just did."
> 
> Odette put her head in her hands.
> 
> "So what now?" she asked, turning to look at Logan over her shoulder.  "What does Rory Gilmore want to do about your bastard baby?"
> 
> "Don't call him that."
> 
> Odette bit her tongue and glared at Logan.
> 
> "She wants to keep it."
> 
> Odette kept staring at her husband.
> 
> "And she doesn't want me involved with it at all."
> 
> Odette's shoulders relaxed.  "So what are you going to do?  An annual income, a trust fund?"
> 
> "I want to be involved."
> 
> Odette stiffened, and then turned to her husband again.
> 
> "Logan Mitchum Huntzberger," Odette said calmly.  "I knew you were a playboy and a risk taker when I married you.  I knew you wouldn't always make the wisest decisions, and that you sometimes let passion carry away reason.  But risking your reputation, your family, and, frankly, your future just so you can play happy families with some washed up journalist-"
> 
> "Odette," Logan interrupted.
> 
> "No, you listen to me-"
> 
> "Odette, please, let me explain," Logan pleaded.  "I'm not leaving you.  I don't want to leave you.  But that's my baby.  Rory's carrying my child, and I can't just ignore him.  My father ignored me, you know that, and look what it did to me-"
> 
> "Logan-"
> 
> "No, please, Odette, listen," Logan insisted.  "I just want to be involved in his life.  I just want to watch him grow up, try and be a father to him if I can, like my dad wasn't for me.  Like your dad wasn't for you."
> 
> Odette was incredulous.  "And what about when he grows up?  Will you make him your heir?"
> 
> "I'll set up a trust fund for him, but Odette, he's a Gilmore.  Not a Huntzberger.  That's how Rory wants it, that's how I want it - I'm not going to groom him to inherit the company, that's not in the cards for him.  I just want to get to know my son."
> 
> Odette glared at Logan.
> 
> "This baby is going to destroy our marriage," she said bitterly.  "Barely three months and we're already a sham."
> 
> "I'm not going to let the baby destroy our marriage," Logan promised, wrapping his arms around Odette and breathing a quiet sigh of relief when she didn't flinch away.  "This baby is my child, but you're my wife.  Not Rory.  I made a promise to trust you, to honor you, and to take care of you for the rest of our lives," Logan murmured into Odette's ear.  "I'm going to keep that promise.  You, and any children we have, are my family."
> 
> "You can't be a father to her son and put our family first," Odette said sadly.
> 
> "I can," Logan insisted.  "Look, Odette, do you want to make this marriage work?  Will you let me try to make this marriage work?  Just for a year?"
> 
> "Logan..."
> 
> "Please."  Logan slid off the couch and grabbed her hands where they rested on her knees.  "Please just let me try, Odette.  I can't loose either of you."
> 
> Odette looked into Logan's red eyes, then blinked and looked back down at her hands.  Her wedding band glinted in the lamplight.
> 
> "Okay," Odette said softly.
> 
> Logan didn't wait for anything more.  He leaned up and kissed her as he threaded his hands into her long dark hair.  "I love you," Logan whispered, playing with her hair.  
> 
> "I love you," Odette agreed a little sadly.
> 
> "I'm going to do everything I can to take care of you," Logan said, leaning back and looking Odette right in the eyes.  "I promise I will find a way to make this work."
> 
> "I know." Odette closed her eyes and let Logan kiss her again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked text indicates a flashback or an earlier point in time.

> _London, 11 months ago_
> 
> "He's so strong," Rory laughed, grabbing one of Logan's hands in hers and letting him feel the baby kick through her dress.
> 
> "Hey, little man," Logan whispered.  He felt his child move in time to the words.
> 
> "He likes the sound of your voice," Rory said fondly.
> 
> "Logan!  Logan, where are you, the conference call was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago-" Logan's office door flew open and Mitchum stormed in.
> 
> Logan looked up from his crouched position next to Rory's chair.
> 
> "Go," she said softly, pushing Logan away.
> 
> "Ms. Gilmore," Mitchum nodded without looking at her.
> 
> "Mr. Huntzberger," Rory replied politely.
> 
> Mitchum grabbed Logan's arm and the door closed before either of them could say goodbye.

 

_London, Present Day_

"Chez L'Arpege," Odette read the name of the restaurant off the side of the building and smirked at Logan.  "What's the occasion?"

"Well, I thought you deserved a nice meal," Logan said, pulling his arm around Odette as she shivered in the cold.

"Really?  Because the husband I know would have saved a restaurant like L'Arpege for a lovely buttering opportunity."

"You mean buttering up?" Logan laughed.  "Who, me?"

Odette raised her eyebrows at him.

"Let's just get inside," Logan said hastily.  "After you."

 

> _Stars Hollow, 6 months ago_
> 
> "Logan I can't make him stop crying," Rory sobbed.
> 
> "Ace?  Ace, where are you?"
> 
> "At home, and everyone's gone, and- Logan, he won't eat anything!  He was fine at the hospital, and now-"
> 
> "Breathe, Ace.  He's barely four days old, there were bound to be-"
> 
> "What if he doesn't like me anymore?" Rory wailed.
> 
> "Okay.  Okay, I'm almost there," Logan assured Rory.  "I'm walking around Andrew's house...I'm ducking behind the bushes so Babette doesn't see me from her window..."
> 
> Rory tried to laugh, but she sounded teary.
> 
> "Last time I tried to come in through the front door, Babette saw me walking across the lawn and waylaid me with a fifteen minute conversation about her new dryer and the wonders it's doing for her intimates."
> 
> Rory did laugh this time.
> 
> "I'm walking up the back steps..." Logan narrated softly.
> 
> Rory pulled open the door and Logan hung up the phone before taking a sleepy Ricky from Rory with one arm and putting his other arm around her narrow shoulders.
> 
> "Hey, Ace," Logan said warmly.
> 
> Rory burst into tears.
> 
> "I'm a bad mother," she wailed.  "My first day alone with him and I call you-"
> 
> "You are an amazing mother," Logan said softly, kissing her hair.  "Now what's going on?"
> 
> "He won't eat anything!"
> 
> Logan looked at his son.  "He's sleeping, Ace."
> 
> "But he hasn't eaten all day!"
> 
> "So you fed him last night?"
> 
> "Babies are supposed to eat every three hours, what if he's got colic or he can't digest my milk, or-"
> 
> "Easy, Ace."  Logan extracted his arm from around Rory and pulled out his cell phone.
> 
> "Call Paris."
> 
> Rory looked at him for a moment before slamming her hand against her forehead.  "I'm such an idiot."
> 
> "You're not an idiot, you're tired and stressed out.  But call Paris before we both start to flip."
> 
> "Paris?" Rory breathed into the phone.
> 
> "Rory!  How's mini-Ricardo doing?"
> 
> "Paris, he hasn't eaten all day."
> 
> "Okay, well, when did you last feed him?"
> 
> "Last night?"
> 
> "Are you asking or telling me?"
> 
> "Last night, Paris, around 11."
> 
> "And he's how old, exactly?"
> 
> "He was born exactly 3 days and 14 hours ago."
> 
> "Does he seem upset?  Lacking in nutrition at all?  Is he crying?"
> 
> "Well, not right now, but he hasn't eaten at all, Paris!"
> 
> "Did you try and feed him this morning?"
> 
> "I tried but he kept spitting everything up."
> 
> "Relax.  It's probably just the change from colostrum to milk.  He'll start eating again in a few hours.  Until then, just monitor his intake and outtake, and make sure he's not hot."
> 
> "Are you sure-"
> 
> "Rory.  I'm an M.D. with residencies in OB/Gyn and pediatrics behind me, I work with pregnant women and babies on literally a daily basis, and I have two kids, both of whom survived past infancy.  I think I'm a little more qualified to tell you about your baby's eating habits than you are."
> 
> Rory sighed.  "Thanks Paris.  You're a lifesaver."
> 
> "And try and relax.  All that stress is going to make your milk supply dry up."
> 
> "I'll try."
> 
> "Have Huntzberger give you an orgasm."
> 
> Rory spluttered.  "What?"
> 
> "Seriously, best tension reliever for new mothers out there.  Just don't have vaginal intercourse, your stitches need two weeks to dissolve."
> 
> "Goodbye, Paris!"  Rory hung up.
> 
> Rory looked over to where Logan was shushing and rocking their baby into dozy contentedness.  "He's okay."
> 
> "Yeah?"  Logan looked up and grinned at Rory.  She smiled in response. 
> 
> "Can you watch him for a little bit?  I need to shower."
> 
> "Absolutely."  Logan settled onto the couch and gave Ricky the tip of his finger to suck.  "Go take a shower; Ricky and I will have a little father-son bonding time."
> 
> Rory smiled at them and walked upstairs.
> 
>  

_London, Present Day_

"Mr. and Mrs. Huntzberger?" A waiter led Logan and Odette over to a sheltered table by the window overlooking St. Paul's Cathedral.  "Can I get you started with something to drink?"

"Vodka martini, very dry, with a twist," Logan said, closing the wine list and handing it to the waiter.

"A glass of the Chateau d'Monteblange, 1992, please," Odette said, glancing at the wine list.

"Excellent choice," the waiter picked up both lists and went to fetch their drinks.

"So what is this about, Logan?" Odette asked, cutting right to the chase.

Logan sighed and put down his menu.  "Odette.  Come on, let's at least enjoy our appetizers before we dive in."

"I'd prefer it if we got this out of the way now," Odette said, keeping her hands in her lap and twisting her wedding band around her finger.

Logan took his martini from the returning waiter and immediately downed half of it.  Odette frowned.

"I want to move back to Hartford," Logan said quickly after a few seconds of silence.

"You want to move out of London?" Odette asked incredulously.

"Yes."

"And to  _Hartford_?  Connecticut?"

"Yes."

"Because of Rory." Odette said it like a statement, not a question.

"Because of Ricky, Odette," Logan corrected.  "Rory's obviously part of it, but I just can't stand to be an ocean away from my son."

"What about the company?" Odette asked.

"I'll work it out with my father."

"He'll disown you."

"He won't.  I'll ask him if I can manage the New York branch, it's not far."

"If you're managing New York, why do you want to live in Hartford?"

Logan looked down at the table.  "I want Rory and Ricky to live with us."

"No."

"Odette-"

"Logan, I can't believe you would even ask."

"Odette, Rory is moving in with her ex-boyfriend," Logan said desperately.  "She's moving in with her ex-boyfriend, and she's taking my son with her, and I can't let someone else raise my boy, it wouldn't be right!"

"You can't have expected Rory to stay single for the rest of Ricky's childhood," Odette fired back.  "You must have been prepared for this possibility.  Or was this your plan all along?  Move your mistress and her child into our family home so you can finally be with the woman you really want?'

Logan leaned back in his chair.  "That's not fair," he said quietly.

"It's more than fair, it's true."

"Odette, you knew when I married you that I had been in love with someone else."

"Yes, and when I married you, I had also been in love with someone else.  But I got over it Logan, I worked through it because that is what wives do.  They learn to love their husbands, and they support their families; that's how marriage works!"

"I do love you, Odette."

"I don't think you do," Odette said.  "I think that ever since you found out that your life is still tied to Rory's; that she didn't give up on you, you stopped trying.  You're going through the motions, but your mind is always in Stars Hollow."

 

> _London, 4 months ago_
> 
> "Logan?" Odette walked into the living room.  "Logan, why aren't you dressed yet?"
> 
> "Huh?" Logan looked up from his laptop.  "What time is it?"
> 
> "Logan, it's after 6," Odette scolded.  "We're supposed to be at the gala in half an hour.  What happened?"
> 
> "Sorry, I was looking at these pictures Rory sent me and I lost track of time." Logan looked at his watch.  "Damn, I still have to shower.  I'll be 10 minutes."
> 
> "Zip me up before you go." Odette turned around.  
> 
> "Logan?" Odette glanced over her shoulder to find her husband glued to his computer screen again.  "Logan!"
> 
> Logan jumped up.  "I'm going, I'm going!" He hurried off in the direction of the master bedroom without glancing back at his wife.
> 
>  
> 
> _Paris, 3 months ago_
> 
> "What are you planning for your one-year?" Honor asked Odette as she took a bite of salad.
> 
> "I'm not sure.  We discussed a few things, but I think Logan is going to surprise me." Odette smiled and took a sip of iced tea.
> 
> "You're not drinking," Honor said with a pointed smile.
> 
> "Headache," Odette said primly.
> 
> "Come on, Odette, you're my sister now," Honor said slyly.  "You can tell me.  Hunter would love to have a little cousin to play with."
> 
> "Not right now," Odette said, shaking her head.  "It's not the right time."
> 
> "Because of Ricky?" Honor asked sympathetically.
> 
> "No, not exactly - well - " Odette looked away and pulled her sunglasses over her eyes.
> 
> "It'll happen one day," Honor said, squeezing Odette's hand over the table.  "It's just so new right now, but you'll get over it and find a way to make it balance."
> 
> Odette smiled bravely.  "I'm sure we will."
> 
>  
> 
> _London, 2 months ago_
> 
> "What do you think?  The diamond cuff links?"
> 
> "For Logan?" Shira paused and fingered the silk lining of a coat.  "I liked them, but aren't diamond cufflinks a bit passé?  What about this coat, it's simply stunning."
> 
> Odette examined the charcoal gray longcoat.  "Yes," she said, petting the cashmere/silk combination of the lining.  "I think this will do nicely as an anniversary gift.  It's certainly lovely to touch."
> 
> Shira smiled as Odette picked up the hanger and began conversing with a sales assistant, explaining that Logan's sizes and preferred tailoring were on file.
> 
> "Have I told you recently how grateful Mitchum and I are to you for handling Logan's whole situation so gracefully?"  Shira asked Odette after it was just the two of them again.
> 
> Odette blushed.  "Well, I'm his wife, that's my job."
> 
> "Yes.  But you have simply gone above and beyond the bar."
> 
> Odette smiled.  "Logan is a wonderful father."
> 
> "He was always good at accomplishing what he wanted.  Don't wait too long before you have children," Shira advised.  "You don't want him getting ideas."
> 
> Odette nodded uneasily and turned the subject back to clothes.
> 
>  

_London, Present Day_

"Odette, come on, that's not fair," Logan said, grabbing Odette's hand across the table and tracing his fingers across the back.  "I love you.  I'm committed to you, you're my wife.  Rory holds a special place in my heart, yes, but that's because she's the mother of my child.  I'm not in love with Rory."

Odette looked down at the food in front of her.  "Logan, I want to have a baby."

"What?" Logan drew back.  "A baby?"

"A baby of our own, for us to love and raise.  An heir for the Huntzberger dynasty."

Logan's face closed off.  "I'm not ready to have another child, Odette.  I need to focus my attention on Ricky, and the company, and we've not even been married a year, for god's sake!"

"A year and one month."

"I'm sorry?" 

"Our anniversary was last month." Odette shrugged.  "You were in town.  We went out to dinner.  You didn't say anything, so I figured you forgot and I didn't bring it up."

Logan bit his lip.  "Odette, I'm sorry, but-"

"I didn't matter because  _you weren't there_ , Logan.  You're never here when you're here, you're always at work or with Rory or Ricky.  Even when they're not here, mentally, you're with them."

Logan took Odette's hand again.  "Odette, I love you.  I don't know how to prove it or convince you of it, but tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"Stay with me."

Logan squeezed Odette's fingers.  "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

"No, stay with me in London.  Because I'm not leaving, Logan."

Logan looked questioningly into Odette's eyes.

"I'm not leaving, Logan.  Whether you decide to go to New York or not, I am staying here.  In London.  And I would like to stay here as your wife."

Logan swallowed.  He took another gulp of the martini and began playing with his wedding ring.  "I need to be with my kid, Odette.  I need to help raise him."

Odette closed her eyes.  "Then I guess you've made your choice."

"No-" Logan grabbed Odette's arm.  "Don't leave me.  Stay.  I need you."

"I don't want to leave," Odette said in a rare moment of open vulnerability.  "I love you.  I have grown to love all your quirks and your habits and the way you need to be reminded fifteen different times about an event or an assignment.  I love being your wife, and I would really like to continue to be Logan Huntzberger's wife."

Odette cupped Logan's face in one hand.  "But I'm staying in London no matter what you decide."


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey!" Rory walked into the foyer and reached up to kiss Logan's cheek.  "It's so good to see you!"

"Good to see you, too, Ace," Logan said, reaching for Ricky and putting an arm around Rory's waist.  "Thanks for meeting me here."

"No problem.  It gave me a chance to show Ricky the Velasquez," Rory said, pointing at the picture in the hallway.  "I still think your parents need to add a docent to the household staff."

Logan laughed half heartedly.  "Let's go to the media room, it'll be more comfortable there."

"The media room?  You have a media room?"

"Honor insisted after Hunter was born.  She wanted Josh to stop hyperventilating every time their kid broke a priceless work of art."

"Honor and I always did see eye to eye," Rory said thoughtfully, taking a whimpering Ricky back from Logan.

Logan led Rory to the media room, and she immediately settled on a comfy couch before letting Ricky down on the carpet to crawl around and explore.

"When did he start doing that?" Logan asked, leaning against the bar and eying Ricky as he rapidly crawled back and forth across the rug.

"About a month ago," Rory said, smiling at her son.  "He's been steadily gaining in speed for the last couple of weeks."

Logan shook his head.  "I can't believe how big he is, Ace."

"I know, he's huge, even for seven months."

"I feel like I've missed most of his life so far."

"Logan, that's not fair," Rory said, looking up at him in concern.  "You were there when he was born!  You stayed with us until he was two months, and since then you've spent almost ten weeks with him.  That's more time than my father spent with me until I was sixteen."

"Yeah, well," Logan reached behind him and pulled a bottle of scotch and a glass from the behind the bar.  "I'd rather not be your Christopher."

"You are not my Christopher," Rory promised, smiling up at him.

Logan sat down in the chair opposite Rory and took a sip of scotch.  "Rory, I'm going to tell you something, and I'm going to ask you to listen and really think about what I'm saying before you make any decisions."

"Okay..." Rory said, looking hesitantly between Logan and Ricky on the floor.

"It's nothing bad, I promise."

"..."

"Rory, please just look at me?"

Rory looked up and met Logan's eyes.  "I'm listening, Logan."

"Okay, well - " Logan took another sip of scotch and put the glass down. 

"I want to move back to the States." 

"Logan, that's great!" Rory exclaimed.  "When?  Which part?"

"Somewhere in the New York or New England area.  My father's going to let me manage the New England arm of the company."

"Congratulations!  That's a huge step up for you, isn't it?  Going from London to an entire region?"

"It is a promotion, yes," Logan said, picking up the scotch glass and swirling it gently again.

"I'm willing to move to Hartford," Logan said, looking up at Rory again.  "It's not the best spot for the New England regional manager, but it's not a bad commute to New York and a lot of the smaller regional papers are around Connecticut anyway, so I'd be in good shape to manage them from here."

"Okay..." Rory said, confused.  "Of course we'd love to have you in Hartford, Logan, but you shouldn't pick Connecticut if it's not ideal for you."

"Rory, I want you and Ricky to come and live with me." Logan rushed out.

"What?!?!" Rory clamped her mouth shut and then forced herself to relax before reaching for Ricky.

"Shh, baby," Rory hushed, pulling a stuffed monkey from her bag and giving it to her baby.

Ricky sniffled and leaned against his mother's chest.

"Rory, come on, think about it," Logan said, leaning forward.  "This way Ricky could grow up with both his parents!  You'd be close to your mom, Hartford's not far."

"What about your wife?" Rory asked, looking up at Logan as she rubbed Ricky's back.

"Odette wants to stay in London," Logan admitted, leaning back against his chair. 

"Are you getting a divorce?"

"No.  No, we're still married." Logan rubbed his hand against his thigh.

"So, what?  I would just be your mistress, your geisha again?" Rory spat.

"No!  No, of course not, I would never take advantage of you like that."

Rory raised an eyebrow and bit back a snort of protest.

"Look, that was mutual, we both knew what we were -"

"I know.  I know." Rory interrupted Logan.  "But I'm still not moving in with a married man."

"Rory, think about Ricky," Logan begged.  "He needs to be with his father."

"He needs to have parents who are in stable, healthy relationships.  He needs to know his parents love him, and will be there for him, and somehow I don't think his mother moving in with a married workaholic is going to make him feel secure."

"He's a baby!" Logan protested.  "It'll be stable as long as we're consistent about it!"

"Consistent?" Rory laughed hysterically.  "You are constantly working!  Even if you moved to Hartford, I'm guessing you'd still have travel what, 30% of the time?"

Logan nodded.  

"And that doesn't even include trips to London to see your wife.  Who, by the way, you're still married to."

"That doesn't have anything to do with-"

"And you want me to move into your parents house, so our child can be raised around people who don't like him." Rory interrupted as she flung out an arm to gesture at the portrait of Mitchum and Shira hanging on the wall. "While his parents engage in a mutually exploitative emotional relationship.  Yeah, that sounds like a great child-rearing environment." Rory laughed dismissively.  "Call up Dr. Spock, I'm sure he'd agree with you."

"Rory, that's not fair-"

"I'm leaving," Rory said, picking up Ricky and shouldering her bag.  "Call and let me know when you figure out where you're going to live."

"Rory-"

"No." Rory turned to look at Logan.  "No, I will not move in with you.  No, I don't need to think about it.  No, I do not think that moving in with you would benefit Ricky in anyway."

"You can't keep me from my son."

"We have a custody arrangement, Logan.  You are legally entitled to see Ricky for three weeks every other month or every other weekend, whichever you choose.  I can't stop that, and I don't want to. But I'm not going to move in with you so you can spend more time with Ricky at the expense of my emotional stability."

"Stop being so selfish!" Logan exploded.  "This isn't about you, I don't want anything from you!  I just want to be close to my son, and I want to be there when he's growing up, and I don't want his role model to be some high school drop out with a GED and a failing printing press!"

Ricky burst into noisy sobs.  Rory put her bag down and cuddled her son closer to her shoulder.

Logan stepped back from Rory and ran a hand over his face.  He reached for Ricky.  "Here, give him to me."

Ricky wailed even louder as Logan tried to take him from Rory.  The baby clung to his mother and buried his face into her neck.  

"Shush, baby," Rory soothed Ricky, running a hand over his back.  "It's okay.  It's okay."

Logan dropped his hands and Ricky stopped crying.

"He doesn't even know me, Rory," Logan said bleakly.  "At this rate, he won't ever know me."

"He will," Rory said softly, looking over her shoulder at Logan with something close to sympathy.  "But you can't just pretend we're all one big happy family.  It doesn't work like that."

"I have to do something."

Rory picked up her bag again and began walking towards the door with a sniffling Ricky pressed into her shoulder.  "Why don't you think about what you want to do, and then call me?  We can try and work it out so you can see Ricky more often."

"If you do decide to move to Hartford," Rory added, "You can still see Ricky much more often than you do now.  I can bring him by, or you can come over to Stars Hollow in the evenings, it's not far."

Logan nodded sadly.  "I don't like the idea of not being with you both, Ace.  Ricky's my kid, and you're my family."

"I know."  Rory smiled sadly at Logan and walked out the door.  "I know."


	15. Chapter 15

"And you implied that you would revise the custody arrangement?  Are you insane?"

"No, I am not insane, Paris," Rory said, rubbing her temple with one hand as she tried to maneuver through traffic with the other.  "I hate Hartford rush hour!"

"Yeah, poor little Connecticut girl, driving through rush hour in one of the smallest cities on the eastern seaboard," Paris shot back.  "Move to Manhattan, Disney Princess."

"Boy, you're crabby today," Rory said grumpily.

"You called me to complain."

"Yes, and I haven't gotten to do very much complaining!" Rory huffed.  "Look, I just need to know - how did you and Doyle handle your custody arrangement?"

"The usual way.  We sat in a room with our lawyers and screamed at each other for eight hours."

"And you've never wanted to revisit it?"

"No, I've wanted to revisit it, especially now that Doyle is with that C-list bimbo-slash-wannabee-Kardashian.  But I can't risk him getting more time with the kids, and now that we're expanding Dynasty Makers, I really don't want to use up my capital with my law firm on my ex husband and his poor choice in trophy wives.  Plus the custody arrangement only gives him one weekend every other month anyway."

"Harsh," Rory said.

"What can I say?  I'm just that good."

"Hmph," Rory grumbled.

"Why are you asking, anyway?  You didn't actually agree to revise custody, did you?"

"I told him that if he moved to Hartford he could see Ricky more often."

"And no one heard you say it?"

"No, but Paris-"

"Nevermind, shouldn't matter much.  It's a classic he-said, she-said.  You might even be able to use it in your favor."

"Paris, I don't  _want_ to keep Logan from his child.  I'm happy he wants to be involved."

"Yes, yes poor little match girl.  But this is your kid.  You have to protect Ricky at all costs."

"I don't see how keeping him from his father is protecting him," Rory argued.

"Why are you arguing his side?"

"I don't...I don't know.  I just don't want Ricky to wonder about his father."

"He's seven months old.  Huntzberger can increase custody when Ricky's actually old enough to recognize a man he only sees every two months."

"I don't want him to meet his father for the first time when he's five."

"More like two, Ms. Developmental-Bio-is-Only-for-Premeds."

"Still.  Ricky's his son, Logan should see him regularly."

"Well, then start getting ready to cozy up to Huntzberger again."

"I am not moving in with Logan, Paris!"

"Who said anything about moving in?"

"Nothing," Rory said, catching herself.  "Forget I said anything."

"Weirdo."

"Listen, I'm almost home," Rory said, cutting across the I-84 to her exit.  "I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, Mrs. Huntzberger II."

"Goodbye, Paris."  Rory hung up.

 

Rory pulled a sleeping Ricky out of his car seat and quietly closed the car door.  She climbed up the porch steps and was about to unlock the front door when it was pulled open.

"Hey," Jess greeted Rory in a low tone.  "Just wanted to warn you, Doula's here and the triplets are sleeping in my room."

Rory smiled a little too brightly and Jess laughed quietly.  "Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way.  Liz and TJ said they'd be back soon, apparently there was an accident on I-95."

Rory held in her sigh and carefully stepped through the door, trying not to wake Ricky up.  "I'm just going to put him in his crib," she whispered to Jess.

"Rory?" Doula walked into the room.  She smiled when she saw Ricky and immediately lowered her tone.  "Hi."

"Hi Doula," Rory whispered.  "I'll be back in a second."  Rory slipped into the master bedroom and gently put Ricky in his crib before grabbing the baby monitor and taking it downstairs with her.

"How are you?" Rory asked, hugging Doula with one arm.  "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Good.  The Renaissance Fair was fun," Doula said, shrugging.  "I missed Dad and Jess."

"I'll bet," Rory said smiling.  "But you had fun with your mom?"

"Yeah, I think Mom really enjoyed it," Doula said, smiling.  "She kept saying that when the triplets are bigger she wants us all to go for the full circuit, not just two weeks.  She's trying to make matching peasant costumes for us, but it hasn't really been working out."

"I can only imagine," Rory said.  "My mom's pretty good with that stuff.  If you can get Luke to bribe her she'll probably help you out."

Doula smiled.  "Thanks, I'll see what I can do."

"Doula, your show's coming on," Jess said, watching the clock.

"Ooh, Antiques Roadshow!" Doula said, clapping her hands in uncharacteristic excitement.  "It was nice talking to you, Rory!"

Rory smothered a laugh and turned back to Jess.  "Antiques Roadshow?" She asked with poorly concealed amusement.

"That girl has more TJ in her than I ever expected," Jess said.  "At least she grew out of looking like him."

"Spitting image of your mom," Rory agreed after she had stopped giggling.

"So how was Logan?" Jess asked.  "Ricky okay?"

Rory's expressed shifted and she picked up the baby monitor.  "It wasn't great.  He's still not happy with our living situation."

Jess nodded and his eyebrows knitted a little.  

"Jess, stop," Rory said.  "There's nothing anyone can do about this."

"I don't know, Rory-" Jess began.  "If it's me he has a problem with-"

"Jess, please, do not get into it with Logan," Rory said.  "I'm begging you.  Let me handle this."

Jess rested his hands on the back of a kitchen chair.  "I'm going to go check on the kids," he said, standing up straight and heading for the stairs.

Jess returned a few minutes later with a sleepy three year old tucked under his chin.  "See, look, it's Rory," Jess said, turning so the little girl could see Rory.

"Hi, Kate!" Rory exclaimed, holding out her arms so the little girl could give her a hug.  "What's the matter?" she asked when Kate buried her head back into her brother's shoulder.

"She had a bad dream," Jess explained, putting his hand on Kate's back.  

"Mommy and Daddy forgotted about us," Kate explained, taking her thumb out of her mouth.

"I'm sure they would never forget about you," Rory comforted.  "It was only a dream."

Kate nodded sadly and turned her face back into Jess' shoulder.

"What's the matter?" Rory mouthed at Jess behind Kate's back.

Jess shrugged.

"Mom forgot to pick her up from school last week," Doula said, coming into the kitchen.  "What?" she asked at Rory and Jess' expressions.  "Commercial break."

"Your mom forgot to pick you up, Kate?" Jess asked.  Rory was pretty sure she was the only one who could pick up the veiled tension in his voice, but then she saw Doula's face.

"Doula, honey, what happened?"  Rory asked.

"Mom was at the store and she lost track of time," Doula said, shrugging.  "It was no big deal.  I walked over the diner after school and Uncle Luke took me with him to pick them up."

"Uncle Luke picked them up?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, and he let us hang out in the diner until dinnertime.  It was kind of nice," Doula said.  "Commercial break's over," she said, wandering out of the kitchen.

Rory looked at Jess, dumbstruck.

"Sh-" Jess bit his tongue and looked at Kate.  "Kate?  Do you want to go back to sleep with your brothers, now?"

Kate, who had been drifting off, woke up and shook her head frantically.

"How about you sit next to Doula on the sofa," Rory suggested.  "You can watch TV with your big sister."

Kate considered this for a moment before allowing Jess to put her down so she could toddle off to the sofa.

"Jess-" Rory whispered when Kate was gone.

"I'm going to kill her," Jess said fiercely.

"Come on-"

"No, she promised that she wasn't going to do this anymore," Jess said, getting up and pacing.  "I cannot raise four kids by myself, Rory!" he said, his voice rising a little too loudly.

"Shh," Rory said, getting up and putting a hand on Jess' arm.  "You won't have to raise four kids by yourself."

"It's not fair," Jess said.  "I came back to help her, not to cover for her like this-"

"Jess, she's been doing so well," Rory soothed.  "I mean it's not her fault, postpartum is-"

"Not her fault?  Not her _fault_?!?" Jess said, his voice getting louder.

Rory took a step back.  "I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean it like that.  Of course it isn't like-  I just meant that you said yourself she was doing better.I know it was tough after the triplets were born, but everyone seems so much happier now-"

"God knows what TJ's been doing," Jess continued, seemingly without hearing Rory.  "At least I can count on Luke, but talk about unfair - this'll make five kids he's taken off Liz's hands-"

"Jess-"

Jess slumped down in the kitchen chair and folded his hands on the table.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying not to punch the crap out of that wall there," Jess said, nodding at the wall next to the back door.

"We need to get you a punching bag or something."

"That would probably be healthy."

Jess looked up at Rory.  "Sorry for dumping on you like this."

"It's okay.  You're scared.  I understand."

"What happened with Logan?" Jess asked, visibly diverting his attention.

"He asked me to move in with him," Rory said, shrugging casually.

Jess raised an eyebrow.  "In London?"

"No, he asked me to move into his parents' house in Hartford.  Where he will ostensibly be living, when he's not working or traveling for work or visiting his wife while she continues to live in London."

"Damn." Jess said, shaking his head.  "That sucks, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Rory said, slumping back into her chair and putting the baby monitor down.  "He's just angry that he doesn't get to see Ricky as much as he'd like."

Jess raised an eyebrow.

"Well what else could it be?" Rory asked.  "He's not in love with me, he's made that perfectly clear."

"He's jealous," Jess said.

"Yeah, thanks Einstein," Rory said, rolling her eyes.  "I know.  But I think he's jealous because he doesn't like the role he's forced into, not because he wants to play happy families with me."

"Hey, we're not playing happy families," Jess objected.

"Of course not,  _dear_ ," Rory teased.  "Go check on the baby, _dear_."

At that moment, the baby monitor came to life as Ricky woke up sobbing.

"He must have had a nightmare," Rory said at the same time as Jess said, "I'll go get him."

Jess walked up the stairs.  "Hey Ricky," Jess greeted the baby.  Ricky stopped crying at the sight of a familiar face.  "Nap's over, huh?"

Jess picked Ricky up, changed him, and brought a smiling baby down the stairs to Rory.

Rory looked up from the sofa.  Kate was cuddled up to her side, asleep, while Doula leaned against Rory's other shoulder.  "Hey baby," Rory said softly, holding out her arms for Ricky.

Ricky happily squirmed and Jess put him down so he could crawl over to his mother.

Doula reached down and picked up the baby.  "Hi Ricky."  Ricky clapped his hands.

Rory patted one of his tiny hands as Ricky sat happily on Doula's lap.  "Hi baby.  I see you slept well."

The doorbell chimed.  Rory picked up Ricky as Kate sleepily stretched next to her.  "Daddy?" Kate asked, looking up.

"Hey Angel." TJ picked up his daughter and ruffled Doula's hair.  "Thanks for helping Jess watch them, Rory."

"Oh, it was all him," Rory said, smiling at TJ.  "How was the show?"

"Fantastic, Liz made a killing."

"Glad to hear it." Rory smiled at TJ.  "Do you need any help?"

"No, we're good.  Goodnight, Ricky," TJ said, reaching out to pinch one of Ricky's cheeks.  Rory moved back slightly so TJ's hand just brushed the baby's face.

"Say goodnight to Uncle TJ," Rory said to Ricky, cuddling her son.  "Have a good night, TJ," Rory said, looking up at TJ.  "Say hi to Liz for me."

"Of course."

Jess came back in after TJ had all four kids loaded into his minivan and slumped onto the kitchen table.

"And then there were three," Rory joked.

"It is a sick cosmic joke that Liz and TJ of all people had triplets when other people wait years and years for kids," Jess said, folding his arms and resting his head on the kitchen table.

"You're a great big brother," Rory said, resisting the urge to run her hand over his hair in comfort.  Sometimes Jess looked uncomfortably like the pouting seventeen year old boy she remembered from her pre-Life-and-Death-Brigade existence.

"Got to make up for all those years being a crappy nephew," Jess said into his arms.

"Stop it, that's not you," Rory scolded.  "You have more self esteem than that now, and you know it."

Jess smiled weakly up at her.  Sometimes Rory forgot how much emotional energy Jess could use up in a day.  Even an entire week with Logan couldn't make her feel as emotionally spent as a few hours with emo-Jess.

"I'm going to take Ricky upstairs," Rory said.  "It's almost his bedtime."  She stood up and pushed her chair in.  "Goodnight, Jess."

"I'm going to turn in too." Jess stretched and headed up the stairs.  "Night."

Rory carried Ricky up the stairs and shut off the lights behind her.


	16. Chapter 16

_May, 2003_

 

> _Come...as you are...as you were...as I want - you - to be...._
> 
> "Prep school?   _Really_ , Rory?"
> 
> "Shut up," Rory tucked her hands under her thighs and put her pencil down.  "What are you doing here, Jess?"
> 
> "Just...came by," Jess said, tucking his hands in his pockets and shrugging.
> 
> "Just...came by," Rory mimicked, shoving her own hands in her fuzzy white sweater and pouting exaggeratedly.
> 
> "Fine, I'll go," Jess said, hunching his shoulders and turning to leave.
> 
> Rory internally sighed.  So it was one of  _those_ Jess nights.
> 
> Not for the first time, Rory hesitated for a minute, debating running after her emotionally exhausting boyfriend or returning to the comfort of her books.  Then she spotted the draft of her Franklin article sticking up from her backpack and dripping with Paris' favorite shade of red ink, and put on her boots to trudge after Jess.
> 
> "Hey," Rory called, catching up to Jess and slipping her arm through one of his.
> 
> Jess didn't acknowledge her white flag.  Rory winced.  She put her money on a fight with Luke, or a phone call from his mom.
> 
> Rory tugged Jess back a little and when he turned, cupped his cheek with her free hand and leaned up to kiss him.  Jess responded, pulling his hands out from his pockets and winding them in Rory's long hair.  It was wavy today, wet from the shower, and Jess pulled at the loose curls, toying with the strands until Rory wanted to pull away for fear of the tangled mess she would have to deal with in the morning.
> 
> "So what'd you fight about?" Rory asked when they finally pulled apart.
> 
> Jess snorted and put his hands back in his pockets to keep walking towards the bridge.
> 
> Rory ran after him and tried to slip her arm through his again, but Jess hunched his shoulders and pulled his arms tight against his body.
> 
> So a bad fight this time.  Definitely not Taylor-related.
> 
> Rory settled for shoving her left hand into Jess' right pocket and holding on tightly to the cold, damp palm she found there.  She laced her fingers with his, thrilling at the familiar burn that raced through her breasts, down her stomach, to the soles of her feet.  Holding hands with Jess made her feel...intensely alive.  Even when he was being a pouting baby.
> 
> Jess bit his lip, and Rory very deliberately tried not look at his expression while still  _looking_.
> 
> Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, and the familiar burn settled in her toes.  Jess was biting one corner of his lower lip, the spot where she knew he didn't have much feeling, and his jaw was set in a hard, unyielding line that flexed a little with each deep breath he took.  Rory took in the bright eyes that were trying too hard to look bored and the faint redness around his nose and, not for the first time, wondered how she should handle this more sensitive, more vulnerable, more terrified boy.  With Dean she could rely on a good fist fight with the nearest inanimate object and a few long open-mouthed kisses to break any bad mood within fifteen minutes.
> 
> Rory pulled Jess behind Andrew's old barn and led him through the trees to her clubhouse, the one Luke had built for her and Lane the summer they were obsessed with Harriet the Spy.  It wasn't much, just four walls and an open roof in the middle of some trees, but Rory still brought blankets and lawn chairs here in warm weather to read in her tiny, domesticated Walden Pond.
> 
> Jess looked around and laughed.  Then he spotted an orange toolbox in the corner.  Rory followed his gaze and looked back at him, shrugging.
> 
> "He knows I still like to read out here sometimes.  That wall was almost falling down a few days ago; he must have fixed it and forgotten the toolbox here."
> 
> Jess snorted and turned to leave.  Rory grabbed his hand and held on with both of hers.
> 
> "Tell me what's wrong," Rory insisted.  Resorting to words didn't do much with Jess, but they were all she could think of to give.
> 
> Jess shook his head and squared his shoulders, his back still facing Rory.  Rory kept hold of his hand.
> 
> After a few seconds of silence, Jess cleared his throat and tried to pull his hand away.  "Let go."
> 
> "No." Rory was feeling uncharacteristically childish today.  If he wanted her to make him feel better, they were going to do this  _her_ way, damn it.
> 
> Another few seconds of silence.  Then, "Rory-"
> 
> His voice broke on the second syllable.  Then his shoulders went perfectly still, and his hand fell lax.  Rory tried to turn him around, to put her arms around him and hold the broken boy in front of her, but he shuddered and shut down, hunching his shoulders in and crossing his arms so tightly he looked about four inches shorter and forty pounds lighter.  Not for the first time, Rory looked at her boyfriend and wondered at the big, beautiful, strong boy she had been unable to love and the broken mess she couldn't quit.
> 
> Jess was a quiet crier; silent and still.  It had freaked Rory out, the first time she witnessed it.  She made the mistake of saying something that was meant to be comforting and Jess had disappeared on her for two weeks after the fact.
> 
> Experience has taught Rory to pretend she doesn't know what Jess is doing; to pretend he's simply cold, or observing the trees, or planning his next heist - anything but _crying_ in front of his  _girlfriend_ of all people, even though Rory still firmly believes the whole point of having a girlfriend is to have someone you  _can_ cry in front of without fear of judgment or rejection.  She has long since given up trying to explain this to Jess, though.  
> 
> Instead, Rory turns away from Jess and lets her mind wander, thinking about the lines between spoken and written words and wondering for the upteenth time how Jess, who understands the written word so deeply, who can write and discuss and debate with her endlessly on any topic touched by literature or pop culture in the last two hundred years; how this beautiful boy with his incredible, original mind can be so stuck when it comes to voicing simple opinions about the most tangible parts of his life.

_Present Day_

Rory stumbled into the kitchen, carrying a pair of pajamas and chasing Ricky.  "Richard Lucas Gilmore!  Come back here, you  _cannot_ go to Grandma and Grandpa's without clothes on!"

Ricky laughed delightedly and continued running, butt naked, through the kitchen and into the living room before trying to jump onto the sofa and failing utterly.

"Oh my god," Rory mumbled, grabbing her eleven-month-old before he could dart behind the sofa and become lodged in some impossible place.  "Stay still for one minute, please, Ricky."

Rory managed to get Ricky's shirt over his head and pinned his arms to his sides with the sleeves.  Ricky started wailing at the odd sensation of trapped arms and she used the distraction to get his diaper and pants on as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, yeah, keep crying," Rory mumbled as she fixed Ricky's shirt.  "It was barely thirty seconds, you big baby."

Ricky wailed louder.  "Yeah, I know you're a baby," Rory said, swooping Ricky up into her arms and cuddling him as she walked back into the kitchen.  "But you're my baby."

Ricky hiccuped and reached for the counter.  "Mamamamama."

"Yes, baby, what do you want?"

Ricky pointed at the cookie jar Jess had left sitting out.  "Mamamamama!" Ricky pointed at a cookie.

"No, you may not have a cookie right now.  We're going to Grandma and Grandpa's to eat dinner."

"Mamamamamama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ricky wailed and threw his arms out.  Rory winced as one of flailing limbs knocked into a picture frame and the whole thing came tumbling off the wall to shatter at Rory's feet.

"Jesus Chris!" There was a shout as Jess came running in from his room and Rory bit her tongue to keep from screaming and scaring Ricky even more.  Glass was strewn around her legs, but it seemed like she and Ricky were mostly unharmed.

"Can you take him?" Rory asked, holding out the crying baby.  Jess reached for Ricky, who cuddled up to his shoulder and sobbed, "Mamamamamamama!"

"I know, baby," Rory soothed.  "It's okay."

Rory carefully maneuvered around the broken glass to the broom and dustpan in the corner.  As Jess checked the baby, Rory swept and mopped up the mess before throwing the glass shards into the trash.

"He's fine," Jess said, looking up from his examination of Ricky.  "No glass here."

"Thank god." Rory buried her face in her hands.  "I'm not going to feel safe letting Ricky crawl around here for weeks." 

"Are you okay?" Jess asked, eying Rory's arm.  Rory looked down.  There was a smear of dried blood running from her elbow to her wrist.

"Oh!" Rory examined the wound.  "I didn't even notice.  It's not deep, just a scratch.  I'll go wash it out."

"Take him," Jess said, holding Ricky out.

Rory looked at Jess incredulously.  "Just watch him for one more second?  I don't want to put him down on this floor just yet, and I can't hold him and wash my arm off at the same time."

Jess breathed deeply, in and out through his mouth.  Ricky laughed and copied him.

"Jess-" Rory shook her head and turned to the kitchen sink, quickly washing the blood off her arm and reaching for the antiseptic.  

"Rory," Jess said warningly.

"What is your problem?" Rory asked, angry and honestly confused.  "Two more seconds."

"Rory, please," Jess said, holding out her son.

Rory took Ricky just as the baby began to whimper again.  Jess slumped down into a kitchen chair and put his head on his folded arms.

"Jess?" Rory asked tentatively, pulling a chair out next to him and letting Ricky bounce on her lap.

Jess mumbled something unintelligible.

"What?" Rory asked, reaching a hand out unconsciously to stroke Jess' back.  He flinched, but didn't pull away.

"I can't handle blood," Jess said after a few minutes.  "Especially not stuff like that."

"I'm sorry," Rory said, because she's not sure what else to do.  "I'll try and keep Ricky away from the walls with pictures on them next time."

"No, it's not your fault," Jess is panting now, breathing heavily, and Rory has absolutely no idea what to do.

Jess pushes his face against his arm again and his shoulders begin to shake slightly.

"Jess, wha-" Rory leans back in her chair, utterly perplexed.  

"Sorry," Jess said, looking up and passing a hand over his face.  Rory looks closer, but his eyes are dry.

"What's going on?" Rory asked, letting Ricky reach out and snatch fruitlessly at the air in front of Jess' glasses.

"Nothing," Jess said, running a hand through his hair.

"Bulls-" Rory looked down at Ricky.  "I mean, hogwash."

Jess smiled slightly and then bit his lip.

"What's wrong?  I haven't seen you in days."

"Just writing another grant for Truncheon," Jess said, rubbing his hands through his hair and letting his elbows rest on the table.

Rory winced in sympathy.  "Grants suck."

"Yeah," Jess slumped further down into his chair and rested his head on his arms again.

"I could take a look at it," Rory offered, pulling Ricky away from Jess' face.  "No, honey, the glasses aren't yours."

"Mamamamaaaa!" Ricky cried indignantly.

"It's okay, I'll figure it out," Jess said, sitting up and stretching.  "'I'm going to shower."

"Come with us tonight," Rory said impulsively.

"Mamamamama," Ricky agreed.

"To Lorelai's?" Jess ran a hand through his hair and sighed.  "I don't know..."

"Luke will be there too."

Jess nodded.

"Oh, come on!" Rory objected.  "How can you turn down Luke's cooking just because my mother will be there?  You guys are fine now!"

"I'm just exhausted."

"So come eat, this way you won't have to worry about dinner."

"Wasn't planning on it either way," Jess grimaced and pulled his glasses off.  "God, I hate these things."

"They look cute," Rory teased.

Ricky made grabby hands in the direction of the glasses.  "Mamamamama."

"No, Ricky."

"Mamamamamamaaaaaaaaa!"

"Hey, Ricky," Jess said, smiling at the baby and taking him from Rory.  "What's up, huh?" He cooed as Ricky reached for the glasses next to Jess' elbow.

Jess carefully placed the oversized glasses on Ricky's face.  "There you go.  Very distinguished."

"Mamamamaa?" Ricky stuck his fingers into his mouth and then tried to poke Jess in the eye.

"Oh!" Jess laughed and pretended to cower back.  "All right, little man, I get the message."  He took the glasses back.

Ricky frowned.  "Juhjuhjuhjuh."

"What did he say?" Rory asked, whipping her head around to stare at Ricky and Jess.

"Juhjuhjuhjuh!" Ricky said triumphantly, smiling when he realized all the attention in the room was on him.  "Juhjuhjuhjuhjuhjuhhh!"

Jess stared open-mouthed at Ricky.  "Is he trying to say..." he turned to look at Rory.

"Juhjuhjuhjuhjuh!" Ricky hit Jess in the face.  "Juhjuhjuh!"

"Ricky!" Rory said, but she couldn't bring herself to scold him for hitting Jess.  

Jess was back to staring at Ricky, smiling more widely than Rory had seen in a long time.  "Hey, little man," he said, brushing Ricky's sandy hair off his face.  "I'm here.  You've got my attention."

"Juhjuhjuh!"

Rory and Jess exchanged glances.

"Well, now you have to come with us," Rory said.

Jess nodded as Ricky slapped him again.  "Juhjuhjuh!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnddd....we're back! Finally; I'm sorry about how long this has taken! RL and writer's block are the worst.

"He said  _what?_ "

"Jess," Rory said, slouching against the table.  "Ricky's second word was 'Jess'."

"Huh," Lorelai said, leaning back against the fridge.  "You know, that makes sense.  I'm okay with that."

"Even though," Lorelai continued, picking up the glass in front of Rory and setting a plastic Betty Boop mug in front of her, "I am a little jealous that his second word wasn't 'Lola' like I had planned for it to be, I am a big enough person not to let this little set back affect my relationship with the newest generation of Ricardos."

"Mom," Rory groaned.  "Be serious here, please.  I can't let Ricky grow up thinking that Jess is his dad."

"Hey, you're the one who decided to live with the guy," Lorelai said, fishing a bottle of gin out from on top of the fridge and pouring a measure on top of Betty's head.  "Can't eat your cake and smash it too, kid."

"That's not even the right expression!"

"But it makes so much more sense!  Obviously, if you  _eat_ your cake, then you still  _have_ the cake, albeit in a slightly different form!"

"That's disgusting."

"But true!" Lorelai exclaimed triumphantly.  

"Argh," Rory said, rubbing her eyes.  "Maybe I can teach him to say 'Dada' before Logan calls again."

"Fat chance, kid."

Rory picked up the gin and toasted Lorelai with it.  "Logan's going to kill me."

"He's not going kill you.  And he doesn't have any right to kill you, anyway."

Rory gave her mother a look.

"What?  If hanging out with his kid was that important, he could move to Stars Hollow, he could move to Hartford and telecommute, he could tell his father to take a hike and take a sabbatical from work, you know he could afford it-"

"Those are really big decisions, and you know it.  He's trying, Mom.  He's trying really hard, much harder than I expected him too, truthfully."

"Well," Lorelai said grumpily, "I can admit Logan's not the worst father I've ever seen."

"He's a regular Danny Tanner compared to my father."

"Touche."

Rory set her empty glass on the table and sighed.  "Have I been taking advantage of Jess?"

"Nooo..." Lorelai stuck her head in the freezer and started rooting around in it.

"Mom!"

"Well, hun, you've had a lot going on."

"Mother!"

"I wasn't going to say anything!  What was I going to do, tell you  _not_ to rely on your friends and family?  And somehow - I'm still not quite sure _how_ \- Jess has become both."

"But, you would have said something if you thought it wasn't right, right?"  Rory asked.

"Well, of course, babe," Lorelai said and looked over her shoulder at Rory with concern.  "But honey, I don't think you've asking anything of Jess that he doesn't want to give."

"Right, but, is it right that he wants to give those things?"

"I can't answer that sweetie.  I don't think Jess is doing anything he doesn't want to do, and oddly enough, I also don't think he's doing anything he doesn't want to not want to do either."  Lorelai paused and looked back over her shoulder at Rory. "Did that make sense to you?"

"Uhh, nope."

"Good, me neither."

Lorelai closed the fridge and came over to sit next to Rory.  "Jess has known you for a long time, hun.  He loves Ricky, and he loves you too.  And even though I haven't picked up on any 'Layla' vibes yet, you're not exactly the next Will & Grace either."

"No, see, we are Will & Grace!  Minus Vince, but who needs Vince?"

"See, without Vince, and with Jess not being gay - at least, not if Michel's comments on his wardrobe are anything to go by - and with Logan in the picture, you start looking a little less like Will & Grace, and little more like Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice."

"Ewwww!"

"Odette can be Alice," Lorelai snickers.

"You're disgusting.  Depraved!  And disgusting!"

"Well, hun, maybe you and Jess should have a conversation about it."

"Oh yeah, that'll go over well," Rory snorted.  "Hey Jess, thanks for looking after my baby half the time, and by the way, do you have designs on being his new stepfather?"

"Well, that's one way to put it."

"Mom, be serious!" Rory put her forehead down on the table.  "I need your help, and you're just making fun of me."

"I am not making fun of you, sweets, I just don't have any of the answers you're looking for."

"You're my mother.  You're supposed to have all the answers."

"Well, eighteen years ago, that was true.  But now you're a Mom, so it's your turn to have all the answers."

Rory turned her head to the side and looked up at her mom.  "Does this Mom thing get any easier?"

"Oh no.  It gets much, much harder.  But," Lorelai tapped Rory on the nose.  "It also gets to be much, much more fun.  Just think, someday, you'll get to tease Ricky as much as I get to tease you!"

"You are a cruel and sadistic woman," Rory said, getting up and stretching.  "Okay.  It's getting late, and I'm pretty sure letting Ricky spend the night in his car seat qualifies as cruel and unusual treatment."

"I'll alert child services.  Night, honey."

"Goodnight," Rory picked up Ricky's car seat and her sleeping baby and leaned over to kiss her mother's cheek.

 


	18. Chapter 18

"Rory?"

Jess slouched into the kitchen and rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

"Rory?"

Jess paused and looked around. The kitchen had been cleaned.

"Rory? Are you here?" Jess walked through into the living room and stopped.

All of Ricky's toys had been picked up. The couch was perfectly parallel to the TV. The coffee table shone, and the carpet smelled faintly of deodorizer. Ricky's playpen, bouncy chair, and toy chest had vanished. Rory's manuscript, which had spent the better part of a month in piles all over the coffee table, was missing. Her collection of red pens was gone too. The blanket Lorelai made her when Ricky was born had mysteriously disappeared from its spot on the back of the couch.

"RORY?" Jess ran upstairs and threw open the door of her room.

The furniture was still there, thank god, but the bed was made and the closet door stood ajar, revealing rows of empty hanging racks and shelves.

"RORY!"

Jess ran across the hall to his room, grabbing his cell phone from the desk and trying twice before finding the diner's number.

"Luke's."

"Luke, where's Lorelai?"

"Right in front of me. Why, what's up?"

"I need to talk to her."

"Why?"

"Rory!"

"What's wrong?"

"Rory, Rory's gone!"

"Huh?"

"Luke, let me talk to Lorelai!"

"Jess?" Jess breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Lorelai's voice.

"Lorelai? Lorelai, Rory's gone! I woke up and she and Ricky all their stuff was missing!"

"Hon, Rory went to London last night. Luke and I drove her to the airport."

"What?!?"

"She and Ricky were going to visit Logan for a few weeks. She didn't tell you?"

"I was...writing...and....but she didn't say anything!"

"Hon, I'm sorry Rory didn't tell you, but she's not gone forever. She's coming back in a few weeks."

"I - " "Jess? Jess, are you okay? You sound exhausted."

"I'm - I'm okay. I just - I wasn't expectin' -"

"It's okay. Rory and Ricky are fine. Breathe. Okay?"

"Yeah." Jess slumped against the desk and put the phone down, on speaker.

"Yeah, sure."

"You want to come by tonight, eat some decent food?"

"Are you cooking?"

"Hey!" Jess chuckled.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks Lorelai."

"No problem. See you tonight."

"See you."

***

Luke raised his eyebrows at Lorelai. "That was nice."

"Hey, he's been half raising my grandson." Lorelai leaned her forehead on the counter and sighed. "What the hell did I do wrong, Luke?"

"What?  What do you mean, 'wrong'?  You did nothing wrong."  Luke turned to grab the coffee pot off the back counter and picked up Lorelai's mug. 

"And even if you had done something wrong, there's no way you'd be sitting here admitting you did something wrong.  Instead," Luke put the full coffee mug down, "you'd be making up a crazy story about why what you did was perfect in the first place and then accuse me of being anti-woman or anti-fat people or anti-god knows what for trying to correct you."

"You know me too well."  Lorelai leaned over her coffee to kiss Luke.

"That stuff'll kill you," Luke said when they broke apart.

"Sweet, sweet death," Lorelai brought the cup to her nose and took a deep breathe.

"So, why do you think you did something wrong?" Luke asked, clearing stacks of plates from the counter.

"I just -" Lorelai put the mug down.  "I thought I raised a daughter who was strong, and - and independent, someone who doesn't need a guy to tell her that she's worth something."

"And now -" Lorelai huffed.  "She spent a year cheating on her boyfriend - who she had no interest in but refused to dump - with her engaged ex-boyfriend.  She had a kid she wasn't prepared for - and hey, I can't fault her for that, the apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree."

"But even when she had Ricky, she still kept flinging herself from one guy to the other without any concern for how it was affecting her kid, to how she was using Jess - she totally took advantage of him.  And even now, Logan just has to make one phone call and she runs for him.  And I can't figure this out - Logan's never put Rory first, he's never made sacrifices for her, and she's still bending over backwards for him!  I just don't get why she didn't just take Ricky and leave."

Luke eyed Lorelai over the glass he was drying.

"What?"

"You really want my opinion on this?"

"Duh.  That's what I come here for, coffee and psychoanalysis from the hottest lumberjack in the L.L. Bean catalog."

Luke snorted and kept polishing his glass.

"What, Luke?"

Luke sighed and put the glass down.  "Rory's.....she's not like you."

"What do you mean?  I literally created a Lorelai 2.0.  Now with added butter flavoring."

"Lorelai..."

Lorelai schooled her face into something more serious.  "Okay.  Sorry.  What do you mean, Luke?  I know Rory's not exactly like me, but I raised her to be a strong, successful, independent woman."

"You did, you raised Rory a successful independent woman," Luke agreed.  "But you also raised her to think that success is some sort of - like it's a list of things she needs to achieve.  House, car, baby, kids, good job.  A husband might never have been on that list, but Rory doesn't have any of those other things right now either.  She's barely making rent living with Jess, she's got a kid she didn't plan, and her kid's dad is with another woman.  You never wanted any of that for her, and she knows it."

"So you're saying Rory's screwing up because I'm putting too much pressure on her?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all, Lorelai," Luke said, pulling his hat off and ruffling his hair a little.  "I'm just saying - Rory thinks she needs certain things to be successful.  And when doesn't have them, she tends to cling to whatever she does have that's stable and familiar.  Logan, despite being a world class asshole, is familiar for Rory."

Lorelai stayed silent.

"Look, do you remember that time at Yale when Rory dropped out for a semester?"

Lorelai glared at Luke.

"Right, right, of course, you do.  And who did she run to then?  Your father," Luke emphasized.  "The strongest person around her who she thought could protect her.  Right now, Logan's got money, resources, and he's Ricky's dad, Lorelai.  That's why Rory keeps going back to him - she's scared, and he's the person around her who seems most figured out, so she's asking him to help her."

"Wow," Lorelai stirred another sugar packet into her coffee.  Luke didn't even wince.

"You know, you should really take this lumberjack advice giving thing on the road," Lorelai said suddenly.  "I bet the L.L. Bean catalog could use a 'Dear Abby' column next to the footie pajamas."

"That's it!" Luke picked up Lorelai's coffee before she could take a sip.

"Hey!"

"You snooze, you lose," Luke called over his shoulder at his wife.

"I'll get you one day my pretty!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a real struggle; sorry it took so long! I'm still not happy with it, so it might change later. If any of you all are still around, thank you for being so loyal and sticking around this far!!! I love you.


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